Gay Soccer Stud Robbie Rogers Scores Cover & Interview With Out Magazine.

Robbie Rogers: The History Maker
7.11.2013
By Matthew Breen
Robbie Rogers’s journey from closeted soccer player to LGBT role model has been as dramatic as it is inspiring.

Photography by Matthias Vriens-McGrath

On February 15 of this year, at the age of 25, Robbie Rogers made a dramatic announcement on his website: He was gay, and he was quitting soccer. The two points were not unrelated — no male American athlete in a major team sport had come out while still playing professionally (although gay-friendly Sweden set a precedent when soccer player Anton Hysén came out there in 2011). Then in May, Rogers reversed course on one of those announcements and signed to the Los Angeles Galaxy.

He was no longer a gay retired soccer player; he was a history maker — just six months after coming out to his “conservative, Catholic, close-knit” family. “Growing up, I learned that being gay was a sin,” he says when we meet at Soho House in Los Angeles. “It was not something you could be, and it wasn’t something my family would talk about much — it was obviously something that scared the shit out of me.”

It’s only been a few weeks since he had his first match as an out gay player (stepping onto the field 13 minutes before the final whistle), and it’s clear that Rogers, who grew up in Orange County, has embraced his newfound role with gusto. Having played for one of the world’s most decorated teams — England’s Leeds United — as well as for the U.S. squad at the Beijing Olympics, Rogers, now 26, is in the rare position of being able to inspire young gay athletes by his example. Being invited to attend the Nike LGBT Youth Forum in Oregon in April was a wake-up call, he says. “I left the summit thinking, Come on, step up — all these kids are so excited to make a change, you should also. God’s given you the talent to be a soccer player, to be in front of people just to show them who you are.”

Who he is, who he was, and how he got from one to the other is the subject of our conversation as Rogers opens up in a candid, thoughtful interview that reflects the emotional distance he’s travelled since hitting “send” a mere five months earlier.

Out: You told one reporter you felt different around age 10, like a part of you knew.
Robbie Rogers: I felt different for a long time, but when I was 14 and going to high school, I was like, Oh, OK. This is what’s going on: I’m gay. And then it was, I’m good at soccer as well… there are no gay soccer players.

Did you keep them separate in your head?
RR: I just repressed being a gay male, as awful as that sounds. I look back now and think, Gosh, that’s sad. To think there are other kids [feeling] like that is really scary, but I just felt that soccer was so important in my life that I was willing to do it.

There must have been accomplishments that you couldn’t enjoy because you were closeted.
RR: I’d turned into a professional player — something I’d wanted my whole life — and wasn’t able to soak it in because I shut down emotionally and didn’t get to feel all of the emotions I would have as a normal person who’s happy with himself. Winning the MLS [Major League Soccer] cup, or being on the All-Star team, or going to the Olympics — those should be things you can be happy and excited about, but you’re still hiding inside yourself and you’re not comfortable in your own skin. Or moving to England and signing with Leeds, or even stuff like my sister getting married, or little birthday parties.

Playing soccer in the U.K. is very different from the U.S., right?
RR: Yeah. Imagine an American football game, but on steroids. People live and die for soccer; they breathe it. It’s insane. The club you grow up supporting, that’s the club you will do anything for — you bleed whatever colors that team is. People will say anything to the opposing team to justify… to hopefully get an edge. The fans will call you anything, say anything about your parents or whatever.

So I imagine you heard a lot of antigay–
RR: Yeah, you’d hear the most ridiculous things from kids. And the crazy part is these people aren’t homophobic, a lot of them aren’t racist. But they get into this packed stadium where they’re just trying to win and destroy people — manners and humanity are just gone.

It’s got to get into your head, thinking about coming out.
RR: The biggest thing for me was being in the locker room, again, with a group of guys. Because those are the guys you’re with every day; they become like brothers, guys that you fight and train with every day. I didn’t want to be in a situation where I was a total outcast, where people would be walking on eggshells around me, talking behind my back. They haven’t, but that possibility scared the shit out of me. It was like, I don’t want it to be like that, I don’t want to live my life that way.

Talking about the locker room, I imagine there’s talk about women and sex there. How did you feel when that happened?
RR: It was awkward. Before I became true to myself I dated girls. I very much acted the part as a straight footballer, which is pretty sad, but I felt like I had to mask that side of me. Going to Leeds was the best thing that could have happened because I was there by myself; I realized I wasn’t happy and hadn’t been happy in a long time. I didn’t want to be one of those people who are always unhappy and don’t try to change anything. I thought, Now that you’re 25, make a change because you have the power to do it. Which was obviously the best thing ever for me, because I’m actually happy.

You’ve said that before coming out you hadn’t hooked up with any guys. Have you made up for lost time?
RR: How do I answer this? I’m very conservative, but I have met some good people that I’ve hung out with. In London I dated a guy for a few months. He’s still one of my good friends, but it’s been tough to meet people in West Hollywood.

If someone wants to ask you out, what’s your advice on how to make a good impression?
RR: It bothers me when someone tries to hook me up with a friend — “You’re gay, my friend’s gay, you’re gonna love each other.” It’s like, OK, probably not. It has to happen in an organic way, where someone introduces himself and is genuine and doesn’t want to talk about soccer straight out the gate. When I started dating this guy in London, I just went up to him. I’m sure I’ll meet someone in a random place– the grocery store or wherever.

You’ve said that you wanted to be a footballer and not a spokesperson. Do you still feel that way?
RR: No, the exact opposite. I want to help people, especially kids who felt the same way I did; it makes me sick to remember the way I felt and to think that…they don’t have a choice of who they are and they feel the same way I used to feel. Now I have this platform that hopefully I can use to reach people in a positive way. This is a learning process for me, but I don’t want to give advice. I’ve just come to terms with myself, so who am I to be giving advice? I love to share my story with these kids and hang out with kids or people or grown men who are struggling, and I’m very happy that God’s given me the courage to try to help in that way.

For many people, being out is a process from acceptance to pride — it can take a while. That doesn’t seem to be the case with you.
RR: Sometimes I’ll talk to people and they’ll be like, “You must still be trying to get used to things; trying to figure things out,” and I’m like, “I don’t know, I feel quite comfortable.” Being gay doesn’t define me but it is a big part of me, and I have amazing friends that are gay men — straight friends as well, but these guys are such courageous and creative and loving people that it’s made it easier to be, like, “Of course I’m happy with who I am.” I got back from London and New York a few months back and I had dinner with my family, a simple barbeque in our house in Huntington, sitting around the table with my dog and everyone, and it was like, This is what life is like, this is what hanging out with your family is supposed to feel like. How nuts is it that for 25 years I didn’t feel that way, and then it’s, like, Gosh, Robbie, what took you so long?”

Soccer Star Robbie Rogers Is The First Gay Male Athlete Competing In A Team Sport in North America.

Robbie Rogers is the first openly gay male athlete competing in a team sport in the twenty first century in North America. Glen Burke, a former Major League Baseball player did compete as an openly gay man back in the 1980s. However, back in the 1980s society and the media were not accepting of homosexuality. Robbie Rogers competed with the LA Galaxy during their game with the Seattle Sounders and won 4-0. The crowd gave Rogers a standing ovation and he competed for thirteen minutes. Rogers still needs to get match fit because he hasn’t competed in professional soccer since December 8th 2012. This is very encouraging and exciting to see a young gay man be proud and brave competing in a professional team sport. Hopefully, more gay male athletes will have the courage to come out of the closet like Robbie Rogers.

Openly Gay Soccer Player Robbie Rogers Trains With LA Galaxy Might Make Comeback.

Yesterday, American soccer star Robbie Rogers returned to training with the LA Galaxy. Rogers came out of the closet in February and if he does return to the MLS he will be the first openly gay soccer player in the world. The problem is, even though Rogers is a free agent,the Chicago Fire own his rights. Rogers isn’t interested in working in Chicago he wants to play for the LA Galaxy so he can be close to his family in the Southern California area. The interesting aspect of the Robbie Rogers story is, on various internet forums there is a lot of excitement people seem thrilled he might comeback. There is also no hint of homophobia at least from what I’ve read about Robbie Rogers online.

There seems to be a lot of people who truly respect this young man since he was so courageous to come out during his prime. Rogers is only twenty five, he turns twenty six later this month but he still has time to continue his successful career. Rogers retired from professional soccer because he is concerned about dealing with homophobia in the lockeroom and from fans from opposing teams. I sincerely hope Robbie Rogers does return to the MLS because just by competing he can give a lot of hope to LGBT people. I am cognizant that Rogers doesn’t want to be a gay hero he just wants to be a soccer player. Since there is a paucity of male athletes coming out in professional sports Robbie Rogers is proof a gay man can be masculine and also excel at sports.

Gay Community Putting Too Much Press On Robbie Rogers To Become Gay Jackie Robinson Of Sports.

Robbie Rogers came out of the closet last month and recently he conducted two interviews with the Guardian and the New York Times. Rogers gave very candid answers he acknowledged that he retired from soccer because he believes he cannot be openly gay and compete. However, on numerous gay websites such as Outsports.com, Queerty, Towleroad, gay men have attacked Rogers calling him a coward. What right do people have to make Robbie Rogers into something he doesn’t want to be? The pressure for a gay male athlete to become the gay Jackie Robinson is a lot of pressure.

How can gay men call Rogers a coward when gay men we know how hard it is to come out? The crabs in the barrel syndrome is so common in the gay community it is disgusting!

Rogers also stated that since he came out no closeted gay male soccer players have emailed him or contacted him he was disappointed. The fear the gay male athletes have in professional sports is very real.

The mainstream media, are very politically correct, everyone is saying the right things, that the time is right for a gay male athlete to come out in a team sport. However, if the time is right why hasn’t anyone done it? Why? Why is it in the year 2013, no professional male athlete has come out in the NBA, NHL, NFL, MLB, golf, tennis, soccer? If society is so progressive as people say why is there still this intense fear that the closeted gay male athletes have?

According to Rogers, he only came out to his family in October 2012. The young man is clearly still struggling to accept his homosexuality. In the New York Times, Rogers says he doesn’t go to gay bars and he doesn’t pick up men. Rogers seems brand new, he is still trying to make sense of his life as an openly gay man. Rogers is also a Catholic, his family is very religious.

The gay community we are our own worst enemy. Some gay people place so much expectations on gay celebrities to be role models to push the gay movement forward. Yet some gay and lesbian people, don’t care to understand some gay stars don’t want to be spokespersons for the movement.

For instance, Jodie Foster the Academy award-winning lesbian actress refuses to be a gay role model and I applaud Foster’s decision. Foster is a very private woman, and she’s living her life on her own terms not for the gay community but for herself. In Robbie Roger’s case, he knows more about the homophobia in professional soccer than the general public. Rogers says the straight male soccer players are hypocritical, on the one hand they claim to support Rogers yet he says they also make gay jokes in the change room.

I think people expect too much from gay celebrities, we place our goals, dreams, and aspirations on these people yet we forget they are people too. Robbie Rogers has done a lot of good just by coming out. If Rogers doesn’t want to compete in professional soccer again it is his personal choice. No one has the right to lecture to Rogers that he must become the gay Jackie Robinson. Rogers is cognizant, he will be subjected to homophobia from fans, and perhaps even other soccer players if he competed again. Rogers feels he can’t handle dealing with gay slurs and negativity when he is competing. Rogers is being honest, he probably doesn’t want to be placed on to a pedestal and have the media put so much scrutiny on him. The pressure to be perfect would be overwhelming.

Gay Argentina Soap Botineras: Manuel & Lalo Make Love For The First Time.

Three years ago, the soap Botineras in Argentina had a very popular gay storyline about two soccer players Manuel and Lalo.

I can honestly say, this is one of the best gay male romances I have ever seen! I can’t imagine, a gay storyline like this being broadcast on North American television. The sensuality, passion, desire, and the love Manuel and Lalo have for each other is just incredible. The story is simple, Manuel is thirty years old, his professional soccer career is almost over.

However, Manuel is closeted he’s married to a woman Lily and he has two children. Lalo, is only eighteen he’s just starting his soccer career and Manuel falls for the younger man. Compared to North American soaps or television shows with gay storylines, this gay storyline is about love.

This soap illustrates the difficulty a gay male soccer players would have coming out of the closet. Lalo doesn’t want to come out because he’s afraid it might destroy his career. Manuel’s wife Lily eventually finds out the truth that her husband is having an affair with Lalo. There is a lot of drama in this story.

Although, Queer as Folk gets a lot of attention for being sexually explicit, the love scenes were mechanical and not loving. The romance between Manuel and Lalo is all about love, tenderness, and devotion. It is very rare to watch a soap with gay male characters who show tenderness, compassion, and comfort each other. Often, the actors who do play gay male characters are uncomfortable or awkward in the gay love scenes. Here the actors who play Manuel and Lalo give a tremendous performance, and make the audience actually believe their characters are in love.

Interesting Article: The Sports World Is Not Ready For Gay Male Athletes To Come Out There Is A Code Of Silence.

Gregorio Borgia / Associated Press Antonio Cassano drew derision for his homophobic comments. Italian striker Antonio Cassano may be good at opening up defenses, but opening up his big mouth is a problem. His dumb comments on gay soccer players drew derision at Euro 2012 earlier this month. He hoped there were no “queers” on the Italian team. Later, he issued the predictable mea culpa apology, most likely written by someone skilled in the verse of damage control. An estimated 500,000 professionals have kicked soccer balls across the globe. So far, only one top pro has come out as gay, the late Justin Fashanu of England. Tennis, rugby and other sports have witnessed gay athletes coming out. So what of soccer? English academic Ellis Cashmore, author of “Making Sense of Sports,” published research last year in the Journal of Sport and Social Issues. Ninety-three percent of participants in the broad survey, which included average fans and people involved professionally in British soccer, opposed homophobia. So I asked him this week: Why have no openly gay players emerged? “Gay players are already known by the clubs’ front offices as well as other players, perhaps game officials and agents; they observe a code of silence,” Cashmore said. “Reason? They assume it is in none of their interests to make it known if a player is gay. Other players think they will be mocked by players from other teams, front offices think it will hurt the club’s ‘brand’ if it is seen as the only club to have an openly gay player, refs and other officials have members of their own fraternity who are gay and wish to remain in-closet, and agents mistakenly assume their own commissions will take a hit if one of their clients is known to be gay. When a player comes out or is outed, they will all reflect on how wrong they were. Fans’ reactions will be surprisingly muted.” But the reaction is unlikely to be silent at first. “There’s no doubt that the first one or two players who come out will experience what British soccer fans call ‘stick,’ i.e. good-humored reprimands or chastisement, which can often be sharp but is essentially not malevolent,” Cashmore told me last year. “They will also encounter more serious forms of bigotry from sections of the crowd. It will be mean, nasty and wounding.” Who wants to go to a job and be publicly berated every week? Ace German strikerMario Gomez, in an interview last year with German magazine Bunte, said, “Being gay should no longer be a taboo topic.” Cashmore believes the spectacle will be less cruel over time. “Once the players show their mettle, their sexual orientation will recede in importance. Fans the world over are interested principally in performance on the field of play.” So where can we find gay soccer players? San Francisco Spikes is a predominantly gay soccer club playing in Bay Area leagues. Jay Higa plays defense, a veteran of 20 years. So how is it being a soccer player who happens to be gay? “It’s changed a lot,” Higa said. “On the field it doesn’t really matter. Every year it is getting easier. Soccer is not so much a blue-collar sport so I think soccer players in the U.S. might be a little more tolerant. I see some soccer stars coming out in the next 10 years. It won’t be as difficult as a football or baseball player coming out. And it will give us another person to look up to.” — A short film about the club, “Beyond the Team,” directed by Tim Kulikowski, is featured at the San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival. It’s showing Saturday at 4:15 p.m. at the Victoria Theater, 2961 16th St., San Francisco.