Poem: Impossible Love By Orville Lloyd Douglas
Sometimes I wonder as I stare into the turbulent night’s sky
Is he real or does he have a heart of stone?
Wondering if it wasn’t meant to be?
Honesty is more painful than being in limbo
His words burns like fire and scars my spirit and soul
Yet I am attracted to this flame that hurts
This light that once burned bright that stings
This desire that is now extinguished
But why?
What was so special about him anyway?
This sunburst that causes confusion and doubt
Sometimes I think about his brown skin, his hairy chest, his strong legs, his dark lips, next to mine
Sometimes I ponder as I twist and turn in my bed reaching out for him
Sometimes I wake up realizing it was just a mirage or a vision
Are his sentences filled with dissemblance and veracity or lies?
Sometimes I realize this will never be
His words are deleterious the calm before the storm
What if? What if?
Was the conclusion inevitable like a detour or a road block?
Can we survive the war of our families?
Navigate the bullets of self preservation?
Dodging the questions about the truth?
What if?
What if?
Sometimes I understand with my heart instead of my head
Wondering
What if?
What if?
Does Anyone Know Any Publishers Are Accepting Poetry Manuscripts?
Okay, it has been over three years since my first book “You Don’t Know Me” was published and the frustration is only growing. Several new poems have already been published one poem “Dear Langston Hughes” was published in the anthology “Seminal” by Arsenal Pulp Press in 2007. However, I have completed a second poetry manuscript and I want it published. Does anyone knows about any publishers are accepting poetry manuscripts let me know?
I have already submitted poems to various literary journals and I managed to get a few poems published this year. I have read the Writer’s Market, and the Poets Market. I already mailed poetry manuscripts to publishers and I will send out some more next month.
My Poetry Published On The Online Journal SNR Review Spring/Summer 2008 Issue
I received a nice e-mail this morning I learned for the second time this year some of my poems got published. The SNR Review is an online literary journal and my poems “I Still”, “Star Of David”, and “Unknown Territory” got published today. I am really motivated right now to continue writing poetry because now nine poems I have written this year are published. I need to find a way to find more literary connections though. I need to find a new mentor someone that can help me reach the next level.
The question is how do I get published “in print” again? How do I get another another poetry book published? I am trying I have mailed out numerous poetry manuscripts in April 2008. Does anyone have any advice? Anyone know about any publishers accepting poetry manuscripts for publication?
I just crave to be published “in print”. I know I shouldn’t complain and I won’t because it is nice that editors acknowledge they like my poetry. I really do want to my poetry published “in print” again though.
Link to SNR Review Spring/Summer 2008
Sylvia Plath & Anne Sexton Two Confessional Poets
Confessional poetry is autobiographical, and is based on the life experiences of the poet. Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath deserve credit for revolutionizing the art of poetry writing during the mid twentieth century. I believe due to Sexton and Plath’s incredible poems, most of the poems published now tends to be “confessional poetry”.
My first book, “You Don’t Know Me”, is an example of confessional poetry. I was writing about my life experiences that were painful, but it was so cathartic to express the pain through writing. I felt a lot better after I wrote about the depression, the suicide attempts, the unhappiness in my life.
When I look back at the dark poems in “You Don’t Know Me” they are like photographs, snapshots, in time in my life when I needed to express the misery. I needed to experience the pain in order to move on.
In Women’s Studies, the topic of female vulnerability is often discussed and I wonder if people like it when women are “vulnerable”?
Some art critics hate confessional poetry, because they consider confessional poetry to be a form of self loathing. Is confessional poetry art or harmful to the written word? Life isn’t perfect though life is messy, filled with ups and downs. Shouldn’t poetry reflect this fact that our lives can sometimes have moments of unhappiness and despair?
My viewpoint is, one of the reasons confessional poetry is so popular is because it is much easier to write than inspirational poetry. We all have life experiences and we can tap into these experiences and create poems. Some poetry critics believe confessional poetry is pathetic for the poet to express his or her`s demons into the poems. I strongly disagree that confessional poetry is not true art. I must confess, I love free verse and I don`t like traditional forms of poetry.
The quandary for Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton is, they are more “famous” for committing suicide than for their poetry. The word “suicide” is often attached to them. The word “suicide” is such a loaded controversial term, because people have divergent views on this incendiary issue.
I honestly believe the pain and the grief was so unbearable for both Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath that they believed suicide was their only option. In the mid twentieth century, there weren’t a lot of therapies, anti depressants, or treatments available for people suffering from mental illness.
Does it matter that Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath committed suicide? Should it matter to the reader? Should Plath and Sexton be known for the fact they both ended their lives prematurely? Does this fascinate the public and why?
Sylvia Plath committed suicide by sticking her head in an oven in 1963. Plath died at the tender age of thirty, she was a mother of two young children. Plath had tremendous success with her poetry although she is best known for her autobiographical novel “The Bell Jar”.
According to a biography I read, Anne Sexton was fascinated by Sylvia Plath’s suicide. In fact, Anne Sexton wrote a poem about her friend’s death. Sexton was also famous in the literary world during the 1960s and 1970s. Sexton won the Pulitzer Prize for poetry for her powerful collection of poetry “Live Or Die” in 1967.
Anne Sexton chose death she committed suicide at the age of forty five in 1974. Sexton locked herself in her garage started the engine of her car and committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning . Suicide, death, depression, unhappiness, are the ingredients of confessional poetry.
Sometimes I wonder if these themes in poetry are healthy for the reading audience? Should death, suicide, despair, and unhappiness be explored in art? Or should poetry be about more traditional themes like couplets & haiku’s ? Sometimes I wonder if poetry was a form of catharsis for Sexton and Plath because they both experienced so much grief in their lives?
My perspective is, perhaps the reason people are interested in Sexton and Plath’s poetry because some readers can see the veracity in their work. Maybe deep inside the minds of the readers they believe through the “poetry” are the answers to solve their questions about Sexton and Plath’s mental breakdowns?
Everyone loves drama it seems, and maybe people aren’t that interested in reading “inspirational poetry”. I honestly believe writing “uplifting poetry” is much harder than writing “confessional poetry”.
Despite Sexton and Plath tremendous success in the literary world they were both mothers during a time when America was in transition from post world war II to the capitalist world. Does the public like to read poetry about death and self loathing because people want to “capture” the emotions of the poet?
I wonder if readers “pity” Sexton and Plath because they were unable to overcome their mental breakdowns? Do readers honestly respect both women due to their literary talents or are they “attracted” to the fact both committed suicide so young?
Book Review: Sister Outsider
What does it mean to be black, female, and lesbian? Audre Lorde a black lesbian feminist attempts to answer these questions in her groundbreaking book “Sister Outsider”. How does a black lesbian woman negotiate between the gay, heterosexual, and black heterosexual spheres? Is the feminist movement a movement where the black woman can work in concert with white females? Or are mainstream feminists simply racists that want to devalue the experiences and views of black women?
“Sister Outsider” was published in the year 1984 by the Crossing Press. Lorde believes poetry and writing is important for black female emancipation. Lorde view is poetry is essential for people to express themselves and she views limiting poetry as a form of class bias and prejudice. Lorde discusses the “mythical norm” which is the white, thin, Christian, heterosexual male. Lorde says the mythical norm has the ultimate power in society since everyone is compared to the white heterosexual man. The mythical norm also creates, enforces, and legislates, laws that discriminate against the black woman.
Lorde also states that in order for emancipation to occur literacy is paramount. Lorde’s view is in order for for black liberation to occur people of African descent we must work together despite our differences. Lorde does not believe in separation from the black male she rejects white heterosexual feminist politics that focuses exclusively on gender. Lorde’s view is race matters and to ignore race and class is to ignore reality.
Rare Clip Of Anne Sexton Reading Poetry
Are you having a bad day? Feeling a bit depressed and miserable? Want some introspection? Do you want to listen or read some morbid poetry? Why don’t you visit the bookstore or local public library and read some of Anne Sexton’s incredible poetry. Anne Sexton’s poetry deals with gender, sexuality, depression, and suicide. Many of Sexton’s poems are about feeling unfulfilled with life yet wanting more out of life. The desperation in the poems are shocking yet also powerful.
Anne Sexton has written many poetry volumes but she is perhaps most famous for the wonderful book “Live Or Die” . “Live Or Die” is a fantastic volume of poetry. Anne Sexton is considered the second most important mid twentieth century female poet after Sylvia Plath. Anne Sexton committed suicide in the year 1974 the unhappiness proved to be too overwhelming for her she couldn’t deal with life anymore.
Despite Anne Sexton’s mental illness her poetry has incredible clarity, conviction, and honesty. In my mind Sexton was the superior poet after all Anne Sexton won the Pulitzer Prize for her groundbreaking 1967 collection “Live Or Die”. If you ever get a chance to read “Live Or Die” you will learn more about Anne Sexton’s issues with mental illness, depression, her thoughts of suicide, unhappiness, and despair. The poems are important in order to understand the real Anne Sexton. Here is a rare clip of Anne Sexton reading her poetry.
I Applied to Another M.A. Creative Writing Program
Today I decided I might as well continue trying so I decided to apply to a second M.A. Creative Writing program. I mailed transcripts, letter of recommendation, published articles, reviews of “You Don’t Know Me”, and the essay express post.
Just Applied to M.A. In Creative Writing Program
Okay, I finally applied to a M..A. Creative Writing Program. I paid the money order, mailed off a copy of my university transcript, letter of recommendation, photocopies of my writing samples, photocopies of some reviews of “You Don’t Know Me”. I mailed everything off express post. Now I am plotting my next move. I have to do things that make me happy.
I am also applying to a second M..A. in Creative Writing Program as well. I am just glad I finally decided to take the next step and actually apply. I procrastinate too much always guessing and wondering. It does feel good to actually take action.
I Love India Arie!
I love India Arie her third album “Testimony Vol 1: Life & Relationship”! India Arie’s third album debut at the number one spot on Billboard in the summer of 2006. “Testimony Vol 1: Life& Relationship” has been very successful reaching platinum status and selling close to two million copies worldwide. The high debut and solid sales are very important. It demonstrated India Arie is a force in the music industry and a black woman doesn’t have to change herself to obtain record sales. India Arie is very important not just to black women but everyone and the music industry. India Arie proves you don’t have to lose your integrity or dignity to have a successful career.
Some people have tried to insult India Arie by calling her the “Oprah” of music. So what if India Arie is positive? Sometimes when I feel depressed and miserable I listen to India Arie she makes me feel better. I admire India Arie for her courage to actually think outside of the box. The music industry is all about paradigms and following trends. India Arie has found her own niche and it works for her. India Arie has her own path. I also love the fact India Arie can play the guitar she reminds me of Tracy Chapman but she is less melancholic. I wonder if India Arie will move beyond a mixture of folk and R&B and release a full length folk album?
Don’t we have enough grief in our lives and this world? What’s wrong with a little bit of love? India Arie’s music is very positive and why not? Why should music always be depressing all the time. India Arie is all about helping the public to realize we should be thankful for being alive. Since we are alive we can make changes to our lives to make it better.
There is nothing wrong with examining ourselves and questioning how we can help the world. India Arie is all about exploring the internal side of ourselves the side some people refuse to share with other people. We have feelings of darkness, pain, sadness in our lives. What’s wrong with trying to overcome the unhappiness and grief?
Another reason why I love India Arie is because she is proud of her blackness. So often in pop culture we see black women such as Mary J Blige, Tyra Banks, and Beyonce Knowles with their lace front blonde weaves. The question is what messages are these black entertainers sending to the public? Mary J Blige talks about “real love” yet girlfriend has been rocking the same blonde weave since 1992!
Its like girlfriend get a new hair style! India Arie is all about natural hair but she says its okay to wear a weave and she’s right. Everyone has a right too style their own hair anyway they want to. I am just glad India Arie exists because she is demonstrating to black people and the world that black is beautiful.
I love Janet Jackson and Michael Jackson but I must admit I don’t feel they have dealt with the internal struggles with their blackness. Why did Janet get the unnecessary nose job? Janet Jackson’s original nose is beautiful. Why has Michael had multiple nose jobs and bleached his skin yet continue to deny the truth? My sister says Janet’s nose looks jacked up. Michael Jackson is a completely different story this guy needs a therapist. India Arie is heading to Broadway this summer in New York City she will be in Ntozake Shange’s groundbreaking play “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf”.
Poem: Unattainable Crush by Orville Lloyd Douglas
You wake up every night twisting and turning on your bed trying to shake this fantasy. It feels like a pair of hand cuffs you can’t shake it off you won’t surrender. You don’t want the cold steel to be removed from your burning wrists. You want to throw the key away and remain a prisoner in this dream for an eternity.
The man’s words are intoxicating so alluring he draws you
deeper
deeper
deeper
Into a trance
The intense feelings continue to build and increase in your mind. You fall asleep and the fantasy picks up right where you left it the night before. You can see it in the man’s eyes this hunger, this flicker of hope but also of reticence. Could he be yours? Why doesn’t he belong to you? If only? If only? If only?
You open your eyes and sit up on your bed realizing this isn’t real yet when you fall back asleep it feels so right. You are at the edge of passion, of betrayal, of deceit, and pain. Standing at the cliff you would rather jump off to be with him than to live a boring life. You are ready to give up everything for this man in your fantasies he is everything you could of dreamed for in a man.
The man is closer to you then a celebrity you’ve actually met this man before. The man has been kind and affectionate towards you but he also is someone that you respect. At first you don’t think about him in a romantic sense because you don’t really know everything about him either. The man actually showers you with attention but you know two souls colliding could be dangerous like a car accident.
The smashing of bodies into the fire of your lust is deleterious. The danger is what excites you it invigorates you like an elixir. You desire and crave for more like a drunk you just can’t stop. You are so close to touching his skin, so near to his tender lips to touching yours. You can smell the aroma of the man’s breath, feel his strong manly hands squeeze your body tight in an embrace. You know whenever you are in this man’s arms you are protected he is a warrior he will valiantly fight for you. The fear of the man knowing and the stench of rejection is more fuel for you to continue to keep on going. The battle for the man’s heart is like an electrocution through your veins you feel so alive with him.
He can be a gay or straight man, he could be married, or maybe he is a doctor, police officer, fire fighter, paramedic, teacher, an acquaintance, or someone you’ve known for a long time. You think about him and you yearn for him but you know he can’t be yours because its too toxic leading to a disaster. The relationship can destroy lives but the unknown is precarious as well.
For some reason the man is within your grasp yet he is still so far away. You start to find this man more sexually appealing in your fantasies. In your dreams he can be anyone and he does anything you say and command. In your mind he’s perfect he can do no wrong. Yet in the end you wake up in a cold sweat realizing he’s an unattainable crush.
Gayblackcanada 