Is Marriage Really An Option?
One topic a lot of gay men don’t want to discuss is the issue around bisexual men entering the gay male social sphere. There is indeed some friction between gay men and bisexual men due to mistrust. Some gays men believe the bisexual men are just in denial about their true sexual orientation. I believe male bisexuality does exist. Even some heterosexual women have a distrust for bisexual men they don’t believe a man can truly be bisexual.
I believe sexuality is fluid and a continuum there is no on or off switch. I am sure there are men that are sexually attracted to both sexes and are not “confused”. Women wonder why some men that have sex with men get married but society is part to blame. Maybe some of these men that marry women truly are bisexual and they want to have children and also form relationships with the opposite sex?
Even in Canada despite the social barriers around male homosexuality breaking down an invisible barrier still exists. The message the mainstream society sends about male homosexuality is that it is still immoral and wrong. Same Sex Marriage may be legal in Canada but for some gay men gay marriage is simply not an option. Even for bisexual men they may not be interested in gay marriage either.
I never jumped on the whole gay marriage bandwagon I have zero interest. I believe the mainstream media always attempted to find the most boring oatmeal gay couples that conformed to compulsory heterosexuality. I recall the news reports about the gay couples that lived in the picturesque houses, windswept streets, with green manicured lawns, antique furniture, and the little miniature toy dog running around the house. The message was a Hallmark card screaming “we are just like everyone else”.
Is this really true though? Are gay people just like heterosexual people? Of course in some aspects gays and straights are similar we are human beings that all want love and compassion.
However, I always felt that society still has a distrust for male homosexuality there is a dirty residue that exists. Maybe I don’t want to be like Bill and Bob and live in downtown Toronto in my huge house and live the oatmeal raisin bread life mimicking heterosexuality. Maybe I want to be the dirty slut and whore that lives life on my own terms that sends a fuck you salute to society.
Gay marriage in Canada has of course provided benefits for gay couples and more equilibrium between heterosexuals and homosexual couples in Canada. The reasons gay people want to get married are indeed legitimate for financial and also ethical concerns. The issue of spousal benefits, wills, even visiting a partner in the hospital are important to gay couples. There is also the social affirmation that a gay marriage and relationship is not inferior, abhorrent, or deleterious it is based on real love. I do believe if gay couples want to marry they deserve the right to. However, the whole hysteria around gay marriage never interested me at all. Perhaps it is due to my age? I don’t know? I do know that a marriage is a contract it isn’t just about “love”.
I honestly can’t say if I am ever going to get married or not. I don’t know if I would want to marry another man anyway. Isn’t love enough? I believe Same Sex marriage has become too political and the love aspect has been diminished. A marriage shouldn’t be about politics. I haven’t met anyone yet that I truly believe I would want to marry anyway. I’ve had a few relationships that never became anything serious. The last guy I went out with a few years ago he was twice my age that’s a long story. I’m not getting into today. Anyway, Marriage is not just a piece of paper it is an agreement to honor your partner with love and devotion.
A few days ago I was on the internet and I noticed a lot of ads on a gay male website posted by married men. The interesting issue about married men is some of these guys believe declaring that they are married is a badge of honor. The married label is a way for these men to state they aren’t really “gay”. My opinion is if I know a man is married I don’t want to meet or talk to him. I always ask the men I am interested in if they are married or not. I always ask because I want to know this is my personal choice. It isn’t about being noble or anything it is just a way for me to figure out what my options are. I am just not interested in all that drama and baggage. Why should I deal with a man that wants his cake and eat it to?
However, for some gay men they appear to get a rush a real sexual charge knowing a man is “married”. I think for some gay men have the ideology they can “pleasure” a married man better then his wife can. Some gay men have the fantasy that they are better lovers then the heterosexual spouse and eventually the married man will leave his wife for his gay lover. However, it rarely happens because most married men never leave their wives. Who wants to be the other lover? Why would anyone want to be the other man on the side? An alternative argument is that the married men on the gay websites are being honest to a certain extent because they are letting gay men know they are indeed not single.
I think it is a false sense of sincerity though. I squirm when I watch television and I see these married men attempt to rationalize why they cruise on gay websites. Why lie to a gay man and claim you aren’t married when you really are? Why marry a woman and lie to her? Why waste a woman’s time? I can understand why women are angry and pissed when they find out their husbands are cruising online on gay websites. All the wife needs to do is check the history section on the computer and she can easily find out exactly where her husband has been surfing the internet anyway. I honestly believe if a woman thinks her man is gay chances are he probably is. If you have that gut instinct that feeling that your man isn’t tell you the truth you just know. Also, a confrontation is necessary and check to see if the guy becomes visibly nervous.
It Is Official Premier Dalton McGunity Is A Racist He Will Not Fund Black Focus Schools!
Well, it looks like the black community in Toronto needs to keep a close eye on the Premier of Ontario Dalton McGunity. Premier McGuinty says he is against black focus schools and he will not provide funding for black focus schools. According to statistics 40% of black teens in the city of Toronto are dropping out of school! Only 5.2% of the teachers in the greater Toronto area are black even though the largest concentration of blacks in Canada live in Canada’s largest city. At the executive level only 9.6% of the principals and vice principals are black. The people teaching, creating rules and regulations for black students are not of African descent and obviously don’t understand the needs and concerns of the black race. It is clear the anti black racism is entrenched and institutionalized. For far too long black Canadians we just accept Canada’s racism and bigotry and just go with the flow.
It is obvious black children are encountering alienation.People scream the scapegoat about segregation yet ignore the fact segregation already exists. We have done nothing for far too long. I am sick and tired of those black Canadian cowards that are so afraid of rising up against racism. Let the cowards sit while the rest of us speak out about oppression against the black race in Canada. We cannot allow black children to fade away. Black kids are becoming disillusioned by a supremacist racist education system that ignores black contributions to Canada. And please don’t preach to me about black history month there is more to black history in the African Diaspora then the under ground railroad, Martin Luther King, and slavery.
Black kids are becoming depressed, unhappy, having feelings of hopelessness, despair and nobody cares. People wonder why crime is a big issue. Guess what people, when children feel alienated they act out and become a problem to society. The psychological effects of institutionalized racism is so powerful but of course in lame ass Canada we ignore the mental side of oppression.
It is so pathetic that people are trying to compare Afrocentric schools to faith base schools. There are clear differences. The Afrocentric schools will help black children achieve so they can advance in society.Toronto is a racist city everyone knows this fact but Canadians are so pretentious there is always this covert racist attitude to state sponsored bigotry.
It is obvious to the discerning eye that the current education system is flawed and not working for some black children. The question remains why? It is also clear Premier Dalton McGunity, the Liberal Party, and some racist bigots will attempt to use black children as scapegoats to advance their own racist anti black agenda. Canada is a racist country and the pernicious attitude of Premier Dalton McGunity underscores this. It is obvious that Premier McGunity doesn’t care about black children succeeding and advancing in Canadian society.
Now this number of 40% of black teens dropping out of school is horrendous it is absolutely shocking and scary! We are in a crisis here! We want a solution so why is Premier Dalton McGunity trying to stop black progress? Is anyone really surprised with McGunity’s racist anti black attitude? McGuinty is now in his second term as Premier of the province of Ontario. The scare tactics of some media outlets about segregation is not going to work. Black children are already segregated by racist teachers, and racist anti black curriculum. I cannot blame some black kids for being sick and tired of reading about white Canadian history or about European culture. What does European culture got to do with the black race anyway? Why can’t black kids learn about black history beyond black history month?
People need to know Canada is not some multicultural paradise the racist attitudes of the white Canadian majority against black Canadians has been growing for years. What has this man Premier Dalton McGuinty ever done about the education crisis in Toronto? Absolutely nothing! If Premier McGuinty had taken the concerns of the Toronto District School Board and black educators more seriously perhaps the drastic step of opening a black focus school wouldn’t be necessary.
Dalton McGuinty is the Premier of the province of Ontario his racist comments are absolutely abhorrent and disgraceful. Why is Premier McGunity so scared about one black focus school being opened in Toronto to help black children? Could it be because black Canadians we want to uplift our children that suddenly some white Canadians want to hold us back? Should we just go with the flow and watch more black children be disillusioned and drop out of school?
Black Canadians need to be paying close attention to Premier McGunity’s comments because he is exhibiting the blatant racist and pernicious attitudes that are powerful. Racist bigots will read and discern the real underlining message the Premier of Ontario is saying that the black community concerns don’t matter. We are not going to sit and wait any longer for black focus schools!
The current education system in the province of Ontario is flawed doesn’t Premier Dalton McGuinty get it? Or perhaps Premier Dalton McGunity doesn’t care? Black educators and other education experts have sounded the alarm for years there are serious flaws in the Ontario education system. Premier McGunity’s perspective is so sick it makes me want vomit right on his face.
I find Premier Dalton McGuinty’s racist attitude not surprising but also chilling and deleterious. Whenever black Canadians want to improve ourselves some white Canadian people always want to set up a road block or a detour. Some white Canadians want to impede our progress. The racist haters scream about segregation even though black children are already discriminated against with a racist curriculum, racist teachers, and racist hiring standards.
Isn’t this interesting, so Premier McGunity doesn’t mind taxpayers money paying for Catholic schools but a school to help a disadvantaged group he ignores. Why the hell should taxpayers money go to paying for Catholic schools and not one black school? There are thousands of Catholic Schools in the province of Ontario why are we funding them? The uproar is about one black focus school that is going to open in September 2009.
I think the sinister, racist, and subversive message Premier Dalton McGuinty is sending is that he once again wants to treat black people concerns as the other. Why is all this racist hysteria emerging now? I think the truth of the matter is Premier Dalton McGunity’s attitude isn’t really about opening a black focus school. The racist attitude is that black Canadians we should just accept our fate as being the other and keep our mouths shut. Well we aren’t going to be quiet we are going to rise up!
Does anyone remember May 2007? Well here is a reminder. Black Canadian people need to remember Premier Dalton McGunity is the same man that supported the Jews in May 2007 and blocked a black American speaker from talking to black youth. Black Canadians should be paying close attention to the subliminal destructive messages Premier Dalton McGunity is sending which I believe are abhorrent and racist.
I have a serious problem with the Premier’s statement because obviously Premier McGuinty doesn’t give a damn about the welfare of black children. The reason the Toronto District School Board decided to agree to black focus schools is because a disproportionate amount of black children are dropping out of school. Black children encounter racism and apathy from racist teachers, racist principals, racist education system that creates a pathology and marginalize them.
Link: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080131.wmcguintschool0131/BNStory/National/home
Sixteen Year Old Girl Murdered In Toronto Area Over Religion and Culture Clash With Her Family
In Mississauga Ontario yesterday a sixteen year old girl Aqsa Parvez was murdered, she was allegedly choked to death by her father. According to news reports Aqsa Parvez’s father Muhammad Parvez has now been charged with murder. Mississauga is a suburb of Toronto its a part of the greater Toronto area. The senseless murder is very chilling, depressing, and very sad. Aqsa’s older brother has been charged with obstructing police.
The teenage girl was a Muslim and there was a culture, generational, and religious clash with her family. The story according to Aqsa’s friends is that she did wear the hijab when she left her home for school. However, once the Aqsa arrived at school she removed the hijab . Family members followed Aqas to her high school and found out she wasn’t wearing the hijab.
The mainstream media are framing the young girl’s death as an “honor killing?” What do you think? Do you think the murder was an “honor killing” or is this just mainstream media sensationalism? Or a mixture of both? Will the press be culturally sensitive or paternalistic? Paternalism will not bridge the miscommunication gap between the Muslim communities and the rest of Canada. Will blaming occur and the mainstream press state that Muslim Canadians are not “assimilating” into Canadian culture? Will more finger pointing and blaming take place?
The Ontario government has a critical role here in this case. Once again the question has to be asked, where are the services for women of colour?Some women’s shelters due to inadequate funding have difficulty dealing with the cultural, racial, religious issues that relate to women of colour. Will the Ontario government step up to the plate and address this very important issue or not? Or will Premier Dalton McGuinty provide a politically correct speech and do nothing. The money is available Ontario is a rich province there is no excuse. Premier Dalton McGuinty has a responsibility here and he must act accordingly.
We cannot just sit and watch young women die and say its none of our business just because our cultures are different. We cannot just say we don’t understand Muslim culture and allow another life to perish due to our apathetic attitude and indifference. If we remain silent to misogyny then we are condoning it. I guess the question is now what can be done? What can the public do?
I think there needs to be more studies conducted, more research, and instead of just talking action needs to take place. The Ontario Government needs to realize domestic violence is a top five issue. Why are we so complacent to violence against women?
In Canada we have laws and violence against women. It is clear there needs to be more social services available for younger women and teenaged girls across racial, cultural, and religious lines. I believe not enough money is being spent on domestic violence services for women of colour. Maybe if there was a social safety net available this girl’s life could of been saved?
It is important when these tragic news stories occur to not jump to conclusions or make generalizations. The mainstream media should be careful to not “frame” and make stereotypes about an entire religion and focus on the news. However, I hope “othering” does not take place here and the mainstream media will utilize caution. However, it is well known when tragic news occurs outside of the mainstream community there is a tendency that “othering” may occur. The news here is that a young girl was terrified of her father to the point that she even left her home a few days ago.
My perspective is that religion should not be used as a blanket to conceal misogyny. The teenager obviously wanted to fit in with her classmates. It is normal for a sixteen year old girl to want to belong and be just like her friends. The murder is a tragedy a young life is now lost and a family is shattered.
If you want to voice your concerns to Premier Dalton McGuinty here is his info:
Dalton McGuinty Main Legislative Building, Room 281,
Queen’s Park, Toronto, ON, M7A 1A1
416-325-1941
Fax: 416- 325-3745
Link: http://www.mississauganews.com/article/9341
http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSN1151774720071211
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20071212.GIRL12/TPStory/National
NPR: Tell Me More Segment Single Moms Of Colour Having Children Alone By Choice
I was listening to NPR today at www.npr.org and there is a program called Tell Me More. Today’s show was about women that have children on their own by choice. It was an interesting discussion.
An African American Jolene Ivy started a support group called Mocha Moms for single mothers. The second guest is a South Asian American single mom Asra Nomani. The third guest was Audria Dunson a married woman.
Here is the link to hear the program: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17126669
Is Europe More Racist Than North America? Swiss Elections Expose European Racism Against Black People
A right wing party in Switzerland called the SVP party, is proposing a new controversial law that will deport criminals and their families from Switzerland. The leader of the SVP party, Ueil Maurer, states that his party is not racist, but believes in protecting the “security” of Switzerland. Why deport entire families? I think this sounds like repatriation, this is shocking, and deleterious! The SVP strategy has worked, the party gained 29% of the vote in Swiss elections. It is very clear to me this is just a disguise for racism. The SVP strategy was to break down the linguistic divide between the different regions of Switzerland and they attracted more French and Italian votes.
In the past the SVP party main target for voters was in the rural areas of Switzerland and the small towns. However, in the 1990s the SVP party shifted its focus to attract a larger voice in Swiss politics. There is a fear in Switzerland that too many non whites are living in the country.
An interesting fact about Switzerland is the country has a long history of being culturally diverse. In fact Germans, French, and Italians, have lived together in Switzerland for centuries. French, Italian, Romansch,and German are also the official languages in Switzerland. Switzerland was never a “monolithic” or “homogeneous” country.
However, the Germans , French, and Italians in Switzerland have one thing in common their “whiteness”. The SVP party feels too many “non whites” are moving into Switzerland and are changing the complexion of the nation. Immigrants already make up 20% of Switzerland’s population.
The SVP propaganda advertisements are a very chilling reminder of the power of racist imagery. In the advertisment, you see three white sheep standing on the Swiss flag and the only black sheep is kicked out. Recently, in Switzelrand there were riots in the city of Bern forty two people were arrested. The issue of racism, immigration, and xenophobia has exploded like an atomic bomb in the once “neutral” country of Switzerland. It is extremely typical during elections to find scapegoats and people of colour are vulnerable to become victims of white supremacists.
I have to ask the question, why do African people bother living in such xenophobic and racist countries such as Switzerland, Austria, or Germany? I am well aware that other European countries have anti black prejudices and biases such as Russia. I am focusing on the Western European countries at the moment to be the focus of this discussion.
The German speaking countries are known for their history of racism and anti black prejudices. I understand that people move to Europe for educational opportunities, for a better life, or to live with families. I continue to be amazed when I hear about African people living in those German speaking countries. Why? Why bother living in Europe at all? Why don’t the Africans move to North America they will be safer here?
Its so frightening Germany and Austria especially the hostility and racism against black people is so shocking. Why do African people bother living “there”? Why not live in the UK or something? Yes, I know the UK has issues with racism but at least there is a black community in England.
France is a country that once claimed to be tolerant of “different” people such as Josephine Baker and Langston Hughes. Well times have changed in France the nation now has an immigration crisis.
The French have banned Muslim girls from wearing the hijab at schools. I know in France, there are racists such as the current French president Nicolas Sarkozy and the right wing leader Jean Marie Le Pen.
Last year, Sarkozy called immigrant youth “scum”, even though he’s the son of Hungarian immigrants. For the white French majority although Sarkozy is of Hungarian origin he’s still white and he is still viewed as a “real” European.
Immigration and racial intolerance was one of the main themes for the recent French election. In France there is a strong current of xenophobia and racism against blacks and Arabs.
I have to ask the question, why do black people even bother living in Europe? I would like to know?
If you’re a black person or a person of colour why did you choose to live in Europe instead of say North America? Was it due to the pull of jobs, education, living with family? I would like to know what is so attractive, interesting, exciting about Europe? There is this facade that Europe is a continent of tolerance. Europeans like to present themselves as forward thinking people but the truth is the intolerance against people of colour is extreme and the racism is even stronger.
I am not suggesting there is no racial intolerance against immigrants in North America because there is. In North America, there is a man on CNN named Lou Dobbs. Dobbs has uses his TV program on CNN as a platform to complain about the Hispanics.
Why does the American media act as though “whites immigrants” from other countries do not enter America illegally that its just people of colour?
I find this kind of reporting not only racist but also extremely xenophobic as well. Dobbs program is a ratings winner for CNN. Obviously CNN isn’t going to remove Dobbs for his obvious xenophobic and racist views on Mexicans and Hispanics.
Why doesn’t Dobbs conduct a special about Europeans that are illegally immigrating to the United States? Why just focus on Hispanics? Dobbs is generating a lot of revenue for for CNN with his rhetoric. The issue of immigration reform will be one of the central issues in the 2008 USA Presidential election in the United States next year.
Link to Time Magazine article: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1673669,00.html
Link to Economist Article: http://www.economist.com/world/europe/displaystory.cfm?story_id=10024795
Gayblackcanada 