The Media, Gay Community, & General Public Are Expecting Too Much From Closeted Gay Athletes.
Last night, the American gossip website Mediatakeout splashed the provactive pics of NFL player Kerry Rhodes embracing his male assistant. Immediately, people began speculating if Rhodes is the first gay NFL player to come out. However, Rhodes told TMZ he is not gay as he attempted to squash the gay rumours. The fact that Rhodes felt the need to announce his heterosexuality is not surprising. The problem is the intense media attention about this elusive gay male athlete means the general public is now paying close attention ttrying to figure out who these gay athletes are. This just puts even more pressure on the closeted athletes to remain in the closet.
Although the mainstream North American media want a gay male athlete from the NFL, NHL, NBA, or MLB to come out I am not sure if it is going to happen. There are numerous arguments as to why a top male athlete has not come out. The gay community is also to blame because we place so much of our expectations on gay celebrities. We forget that gay celebrities are also people they have flaws, they aren’t perfect, yet we expect them to live up to our impossible unrealistic standards.
For instance, Robbie Rogers the young American soccer player came out as gay a few months ago on his blog. However, on Queerty, Towelroad, and other gay blogs Rogers was attacked and called a coward because he refused to be the gay Jackie Robinson. Rogers told The Guardian, and the New York Times that there is a pack mentality in the sports lockerooms. The heterosexual men use gay slurs, and make jokes about homosexuals. Rogers doesn’t want to deal with the homophobia and I can’t blame the man. Who would want to be subjected to abuse? Rogers is also worried about fans in soccer giving him a hard time when he is competing. This is probably going to happen if a gay man does come out in the NFL, NHL, NBA, and MLB. When the first gay male athlete comes out it is going to be a mixed response. Some people are going to be supportive while others are going to be homophobic.
Meanwhile, female athletes are already coming out and declaring they are lesbians yet they are treated with such disregard and disrespect. In Nigeria, there is new controversy that their soccer Federation is screening out lesbian athletes from joining the women’s soccer team. In North America, lesbian athletes and coaches in women’s basketball also experience discrimination.
Last year, Megan Rapinoe a top American female soccer player came out declaring she is a lesbian yet there was hardly any media attention. Rapinoe brave decision to come out was treated like an afterthought, as though it didn’t matter. Why are courageous lesbian athletes treated with such disdain as though they don’t matter? Rapinoe’s decision to come out is amazing, she’s not afraid of speaking out about homophobia in sports but because she’s a woman she’s treated as inferior by the sports media.
The misogyny of the mainstream sports media is often ignored about the struggles and contributions of lesbian athletes. In professional tennis the only players coming out are the lesbians not the gay men. In modern tennis history numerous lesbians have come out such as Martina Navratilova, Billie Jean King, Amelie Mauresmo, Renee Stubbs, Gigi Fernandez, Conchita Martinez, and Lisa Raymond. Lesbians are treated with respect on the WTA Tour. However, on the ATP men’s tennis tour no gay man has come out since Bill Tidlen in the 1920s.
Even though, professional tennis is an individual sport the gay male tennis players on the ATP Tour are not coming out. The question remains why?
The unknown is a barrier for the gay male athletes, nobody knows what the reaction of sponsors, agents, media, fans, are going to be. Since nobody wants to take the first step to come out the closet door remains firmly shut. The internet is also a lightning rod of homophobia in the fan forums such as ESPN, Bleacher Report, CBS Sports the homophobia is intense. The
core message of the homophobes online is they want a don’t don’t tell policy to remain intact. The homophobes believe if a gay male athlete comes out he’s being selfish, taking attention away from the team and coming out in order to obtain media attention. This argument is weak because homosexuality is still viewed as being private while heterosexuality is treated as public in society. Heterosexual male athletes broadcast their girlfriends, wives, children, talk about their marriages, their love lives to the media. Meanwhile, the gay male athletes have to hide their sexual orientation in order to maintain the peace.
The homophobic comments on blogs are adamant they will not accept a gay male athlete. This homophobia online is often ignored in the press. The subliminal message is masculinty and homosexuality are like oil and water they don’t mix. A gay male athlete would challenge the homophobia that a gay man cannot be masculine and cannot excel in professional sports.
The closeted gay male athletes of course, read the sports websites, they know some sports fans are homophobic and this is probably one of the reasons they remain in the closet.
Another point to consider is, maybe these gay male athletes don’t want to be the gay Jackie Robinson? Maybe, these gay male athletes don’t want the intense media and public attention? Think about it, a gay man who is closeted can live his life discreetly he can date whomever he wants, and nobody knows.
It is interesting that the gay activism in the NFL have been the heterosexual allies such as Chris Kluwe and Brendan Ayanbadjeo. Ayanbadjeo was criticized by the gay media when he announced last week that up to four gay NFL players might come out at the same time. I believe the gay media attacking Ayanbadjeo is counterproductive because he has been very passionate and vocal about gay rights. Ayanbadjeo didn’t have to speak out about homophobia in the NFL he could have kept his mouth closed and followed the status quo.
Sometimes the gay community we are our own worse enemy. I think the gay male athletes are cognizant that if they do come out the gay community is going to put so much pressure on these men to become gay activists. Robbie Rogers has already illustrated that it isn’t fair to expect so much from a gay male athlete. All these guys want to do is compete, play sports, make their money and be the best they can be. The media, the gay community, and the general public need to dial down their expectations of gay athletes.
Traditional Gay African Wedding In South Africa.
Wow, this video brings tears to my eyes, it is so wonderful to see a young gay black couple in love! This wedding is going to open the minds of people across the globe. I also believe this wedding will hopefully start a dialogue in the black community about homosexuality. Gay marriage is legal in South Africa and I think this wedding is symbolic to show South Africa is progressing. Yes, gays and lesbians in South Africa still encounter discrimination, but this wedding illustrates more African people are accepting homosexuality.
Breaking News: Gay Married Couple Accused Of Sexually Abusing Their Nine Adopted Children.
Gay Connecticut couple accused of raping adopted children will face trial
George Harasz, 49, and Douglas Wirth, 45, of Glastonbury, withdrew a deal with prosecutors that would have given them suspended prison sentences and probation, according to reports. The surprise move comes as new allegations by three more adopted children surfaced Friday.
By Erik Ortiz / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Sunday, April 7, 2013, 11:16 AM.
George Harasz (l.) and Douglas Wirth (r.), a married couple from Glastonbury, Conn., were arrested in November 2011 following allegations by two of their nine adopted children of sexual abuse.
The case of a same-sex Connecticut couple accused of repeatedly raping and abusing two of their nine adopted boys is headed for trial.
Married couple George Harasz and Douglas Wirth of Glastonbury were supposed to be sentenced Friday in Hartford Superior Court under a plea deal, but instead withdrew from their agreement with prosecutors. The men had already pleaded no contest in January to one felony count each of risk of injury to a minor — a reduction from even more serious charges related to sexual assault.
But in a surprise turn, the couple’s attorneys pulled them out of the plea in a bid to fully clear their names, according to CBS affiliate WFSB-TV.
If Harasz, 49, and Wirth, 45, had continued with the deal, they would have been given suspended prison sentences and probation, WFSB-TV said.
But more allegations came to light Friday in the explosive case, and prosecutors said they also want to go to trial.
“I think the only proper resolution of this matter is to try it,” said prosecutor David Zagaja, according to the Hartford Courant.
RELATED: MAN WHO SEXUALLY ASSAULTED 6-MONTH-OLD UNTIL SHE DIED DID NOT INTEND TO KILL THE VICTIM: LAWYERS
Douglas Wirth, 45, leaves Hartford Superior Court in Connecticut on Friday after his attorney withdrew a plea agreement in a sex-abuse case.
Judge Joan Alexander agreed that a trial would be “in the interest of justice. The facts must be shown and must be shown publicly.”
Harasz and Wirth adopted nine children — three sets of male siblings — beginning in 2000, and ran a home-based dog breeding business called The Puppy Guy.
The couple was arrested in November 2011 following a police and state investigation of sex-abuse allegations. The children were removed from the home.
Police said two boys, ages 5 and 15, accused Harasz of sexually assaulting them. Harasz was initially facing first-degree sexual assault and other charges, while Wirth had been charged with third-degree sexual assault of the 15-year-old boy.
Their arrest warrants claimed the couple not only sexually and physically abused the children, but also forced them to sleep in closets.
Other children in the home told authorities that they weren’t abused, and prosecutors had agreed to a plea deal because they said a lack of forensic evidence would make it difficult to prove all of the allegations.
RELATED: OREGON PRIEST SENTENCED TO 6 YEARS IN JAIL FOR SEXUALLY ABUSING 12-YEAR-OLD
George Harasz, 49, leaves Hartford Superior Court in Connecticut on Friday following new allegations of abuse by his adopted children.
But now, three other children are claiming they were also abused, although no new criminal charges had been filed Friday, the Hartford Courant reported.
One of the victims who spoke during the court hearing said sexual assault began when he was 6.
“They took turns raping me over and over,” he said. “Anyone who would do this to a child is a sick, demented person.”
Supporters of Harasz and Wirth also spoke Friday in defense of the couple. One of their children, Carlos Harasz, said the accusers were lying and that the abuse suffered was under previous foster parents.
Carlos Harasz added that the state Department of Children and Families “took the word of an angry, damaged, disturbed boy and destroyed a family.”
Police have been ordered to investigate the latest accusations, and the parties are set to appear in court again June 5.
Shocking News: Nineteen Year Old Toronto Man Sexually Assaulted By Four Women!!
Man, 19, sexually assaulted by group of four females: police
680News staff Apr 7, 2013 09:27:49 AM
TORONTO, Ont. – Police are asking the public for their assistance locating four female suspects who they allege sexually assaulted a 19-year-old man.
It’s alleged that the man went to a nightclub in the King Street and University Avenue area where he met the four female suspects.
The women offered to drive the man home and he went with them, when instead of being taken home he was taken to a parking lot in the Queen Street West and Spadina Avenue area.
It’s there that it’s alleged the four suspects all sexually assaulted the man.
He was then released and the suspects were seen leaving the area in a silver Honda SUV-type vehicle.
The four suspects are described as follows:
A white female, between 30-36 years old standing approximately 5’4″ tall and weighing 190-200 pounds. She had short blond hair with a tattoo of wings on the back of her neck and spoke with what could have been a British accent. She was the driver of the SUV.
A white female, also between 30-36 years old and also approximately 5’4″ tall and weighing between 190-200 pounds. She had longer, dark hair with the bottom portion dyed red in colour.
The third and fourth suspects are both described as white females, between 30-36 years of age and approximately 5’4″ tall weighing between 190-200 pounds.
All four suspects were dressed in short, black dresses and were wearing high heels.
Police are also reminding the public that according to Canada’s Criminal Code sexual assault is defined as any unwanted sexual contact.
Anyone with information is being asked to contact police or Crime Stoppers.
Breaking News:Brendon Ayanbadjeo Says Four NFL Players Could Declare Their Homosexuality Soon.
By Andrew Sharp on Apr 5 2013,
According to former Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, we could see a gay NFL player “sooner than you think.” There could be as many as four announcements from players around the league, all on the same day.
Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo was released by Baltimore this offseason, and on the heels of comments earlier this week where he suggested that he was cut in part because of his outspoken stance on gay rights and equality issues, Ayanbadejo clarified himself to the Baltimore Sun on Friday. During an hour-long interview he made it clear that he harbors no resentment for the Ravens, and respects them for the support they offered him throughout his career both on and off the field. But that’s not all.
When the conversation turned to his work with gay rights and the question of when we might see an openly gay player in the NFL, Ayanbadejo had this to say:
“I think it will happen sooner than you think,” Ayanbadejo said. “We’re in talks with a handful of players who are considering it. There are up to four players being talked to right now and they’re trying to be organized so they can come out on the same day together. It would make a major splash and take the pressure off one guy. It would be a monumental day if a handful or a few guys come out.”
Ayanbadejo’s release not related to advocacy
The 36-year old linebacker says he was misquoted in a report claiming his release was related to his stance on gay rights. He took to Twitter to defend his former team.
In other words, everyone prepare themselves for the most insane day of the NFL offseason in human history. A day to make the sports world explode, basically.
And it would be awesome.
The one reason to worry about an NFL player coming out as gay would be the inevitable avalanche of horrible jokes, hateful responses, and insane scrutiny, all directed at one human being. Nobody deserves that, and it would be ugly. But as Ayanbadejo says, “If they could share the backlash, it would be more positive.”
In addition to muting the backlash toward any one player, four players coming out in four different cities — AT THE SAME DAMN TIME — would get all kinds of love and support, too, spreading the acceptance around the country, making this a more universal sign of progress in the NFL and the sports world, in general.
“It’s cool. It’s exciting,” says Ayanbadejo of the possibility. “We’re in talks with a few guys who are considering it. The NFL and organizations are already being proactive and open if a player does it and if something negative happens. We’ll see what happens.” Yes we will.
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