Are Canadian Born Gay Black Men White Washed?

I attended the gay black men’s group on Friday evening in downtown Toronto. The group  is not some coming out group. We are all gay black men that accept our homosexuality. The focus of the group is just for gay black men in Toronto to socialize with each other. There are not a lot of spaces in Toronto specifically for gay black men. I decided to attend the group last year because I wanted to have a connection to other black gay men.

Only about six group members showed up and the two facilitators. First, we talked about  the differences between Canadian born gay black men  and foreign-born black gay men. According to one  Caribbean gay man, he said that he feels some Canadian born black gay men act “white.”  Well, the facilitator he was furious because he is a Canadian born black gay man from Nova Scotia.  The facilitator said “I love black men and I am not white washed. My family has lived in Canada for centuries. I am very involved in the black community and I definitely do not act white.”

The rest of the group members we explained to the facilitator that the Caribbean gay man’s opinion was based on his personal experiences. The Jamaican man wasn’t saying “all Canadian gay blacks” act “white”, he was just saying that some of the Canadian black gays in Toronto  immerse themselves into the white gay scene. I think there are a variety of reasons why some Canadian born homosexual men assimilate into the white gay culture in Toronto.

First, maybe these gay black Canadian men feel more comfortable surrounding themselves with white gay people? Perhaps it is just about comfort about being accepted? I think the Jamaican gay man was suggesting that some Canadian born gay black prefer to be surrounded by whiteness by distancing themselves from blackness. It is very important to point out in North America, the white gay image is the norm. I believe some gay men of colour internalize the feeling that if they associate with white gay men they will somehow transcend race.  However,  even if some Canadian born gay black men do immerse themselves into the white gay scene they are still black. My personal opinion is, race trumps sexual orientation.

I agree with the Caribbean gay man because everyone knows certain bars in the gay village Church and Wellesley are white male dominated. For instance, the Woody’s bar is an exclusive white gay men’s bar. By contrast, the Crews & Tango’s gay club across the street from Woody’s is more racially diverse.  I remember last year in November 2010, my friend and I decided to have a drink at Woody’s.

My friend is a Jamaican immigrant and he prefers white men. He wanted to go to a bar where white gay men hang out so we went to Woody’s. I personally don’t like Woody’s because I never felt comfortable there. I remember a gay black man telling me that Woody’s is really a “whitey” gay bar.

Anyway, we decided to go to Woody’s. We are both black gay men and we noticed people in the bar looking at us. We saw a sea of white faces in Woody’s. It is hard to describe the white gaze but basically we felt the look was like “why are you two gay black men hanging out at our bar?” I felt very uncomfortable, my friend and I had our drinks and on our way out we noticed one black guy sitting alone all by himself in Woody’s surrounded by white men. Nobody was talking to this gay black guy. I am not saying people are supposed to talk to the guy I am just mentioning it because he seemed displaced in whiteness.

Another point to consider is, maybe it is an issue of environment and culture? For instance, an African or Caribbean gay man is most likely to have been raised in a predominately black environment. However, a Canadian born gay black man will probably been raised in a multicultural environment such as Toronto. I felt the Caribbean and African gay men were suggesting that some Canadian gay blacks are not proud of their “blackness” and black heritage.

The next discussion we talked about the paucity of black gay men organizing events in Toronto. The consensus of the group members was that, the African and Caribbean communities in Toronto are very homophobic compared to other communities. I objected to that loaded statement because in different cultures in Toronto homosexuality is not acceptable. For instance, in  some European, East Asian, and  South Asian communities being gay is not palatable. I stated that homophobia is indeed a problem in the black community, but it is also a quandary in many communities.

The third topic we discussed is gossiping in the black gay community.  A couple of group members said the reason some gay black men don’t come out to black events is due to internalized homophobia and gossiping.  One Jamaican gay man said that ” gay black men in Toronto love to chat other people’s business.” Another group member revealed that “someone outed me on Facebook.” I was shocked learning this information.

The final issue we discussed was gay pride. One group member asked if there was going to be a float for gay parade in July? The two faciliators said that the pride committee has not started the fundraising process. Gay pride in Toronto will be on July 3rd 2011 this year.