Does Anyone Have Any Advice I am confused About My Situation With Rahi?
Does everyone remember the South Asian guy Rahi that I meet at the meetup.com movie event last year?
I met Rahi in November 2009 and we saw the Chris Rock documentary Good Hair. Next, in December 2009 we saw the action flick Ninja Assassin. I will admit, I thought Ninja Assassin wasn’t that great a movie but I thought Rahi was good company. After we saw Ninja Assassin Rahi and I kind of lost contact.
Well, out of the blue Rahi contacted me by e-mail two months ago in late August asking me how I was doing. Rahi wanted to know if I was interested in watching some movies together.
I decided to ask Rahi if he is gay, straight, or bisexual in an e-mail. Rahi responded that he is “straight and mesmerized by the ladies.” I let Rahi know that I am openly gay. He said that “doesn’t change his opinion of me or anything.”
So for the past month we basically have been sending e-mail messages to each other trying to figure out when we are going to see a movie.
I responded to Rahi letting him know that I was interested in catching a movie. Now fast forward to September 2010, Rahi tells me he likes documentaries and I let him know I read an article in NOW Magazine about a new documentary called Waiting For Superman.
Over a week ago, I sent Rahi an e-mail asking him when his schedule was free and I also provided my phone number so he can contact me. I did not receive a response.
I don’t understand what happened? If Rahi wants to become my friend why would he say he wanted to see a documentary and then not reply to my message? I mean, can it be that hard for Rahi to simply move his fingers and respond to my e-mail? I only sent Rahi one e-mail stating that here is my phone number and let me know if he wanted to see the documentary Waiting For Superman.
What I find odd is this, Rahi is the one that contacted me out of the blue in August 2010 saying he wanted to become friends and watch movies together. So why did Rahi disappear? Has anyone ever heard of this before? Does anyone have any advice I appreciate it.
Sincerely
Orville
Dallas Voice Article: Black Gay Writer Challenges Hypocrisy & Homophobia In The Black Christian Church.
Eddie Long, black gay men, and a call to action
- Linus “Buster” Spiller
LINUS “BUSTER” SPILLER
busterspiller@gmail.com
With the recent allegations of sexual coercion and abuse by Bishop Eddie Long, pastor of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church of Atlanta, toward four young men in his congregation, I have found myself dealing with a plethora of emotions, including a deep-seeded dislike of the Black church, along with my own history of childhood sexual abuse.
I know my Christian faith calls for forgiveness but this one is too close to home, in ways I won’t even discuss in this column.
The one thing that BOILS my blood is the responses of people in the Black church, who act like this thing doesn’t happen, that if we concentrate hard enough or attempt to pray it out of our consciousness, it will somehow go away. And it does go away.
The problem is, for the victims, it doesn’t go away. You go to your grave with the scars. You may learn to cope, adapt, and move on but everything you do as an adult is shaped by that abuse. It affects how you interact with males (or females, if your abuse came from them). It affects how you interact in intimate relationships with friends and family. Its affects how you function within a committed relationship or marriage. It affects how you interact with others on your job. The abuse shapes everything.
My own abuse, which happened over two years with one adult, and then happened AGAIN as a teenager the same age as these boys were by ANOTHER adult, makes me angry because as the man that I am today, I understand the emotional fallout.
Many people are not aware of this but I am also a three-time suicide survivor, the first attempt coming because I was successful as a child at suppressing the abuse memories and erasing them. But as a developing young college student, those memories returned and I couldn’t handle them, with a 1st suicide attempt as a result.
Then another suicide attempt occurred 5 years later when my growing same-sex attraction started to hover over me with a vengeance. And it happened once more, three years later. With three stints in therapy, I was finally able to make peace with it and with my parents for not protecting me. They didn’t know about the abuse but I still blamed them, common with child abuse victims.
I had the unfortunate pleasure of running into my first abuser completely by accident when visiting Detroit when I was 33 years old. I had always said if I ever ran into him, I would kill him. But guess what happened? I reverted back mentally to that young boy who was abused and all I could say to him was “you’re not as tall as I thought you were” (we were the same height by that time). He said “I’ve always been this tall” and I replied back “but when you’re a little boy looking up, you seemed like a giant.”
I also had the misfortune of being in the same predicament as the four young men as a teenager with a significantly older community advisor/chaperone like Mr. Long, who I attended oratorical contests with out of the city and state. He was also a predator who used to park outside of my house when we weren’t at these events. And I told no one out of fear.
Hopefully this situation sparks a dialogue in the Black community about sex in general, healthy sexuality, and how to discuss and address touchy issues like rape, domestic violence, sexual assault and child sexual assault. The Black community seems to function within the paradigm that sex is this “great power” we have no control over. We do. And we have to be responsible for use of that sexuality. God gave it to us as a gift and we have to stop treating it as “voodoo” that we’re completely powerless over.
My greatest wish is that black gay men will place themselves in the forefront of this dialogue because our lives are at stake. No longer can we sit in these churches silently, pay tithes, and have verbal whipping after verbal whipping heaped upon us as though we are not worthy of basic human decency, even if we have deep family ties within that church community. No longer can we freely give our time and talents in support of religious institutions that don’t extend respect in return. And no longer should we tolerate hypocritical biblical teachings by those like Long, who feel comfortable leading efforts such as his infamous 2006 march against gay marriage, yet allegedly violated the marriage covenant with his own wife according to Christian doctrine.
No more. Black gay man, are you willing to stand? Or will you be a willing participant in your own demise? The choice is yours.
ABC News: David Arquette Admits He Hasn’t Had Sex With Wife Courtney Cox In Four Months.
Courteney Cox, David Arquette Split: New Relationships Already Underway?
Cox Is Rumored to Be With ‘Cougar Town’ Co-Star Brian Van Holt, Arquette With Jasmine Waltz
David Arquette apparently wasn’t man enough for Courteney Cox.
Arquette revealed today on Howard Stern‘s Sirius radio show why he and Cox decided to separate after 11 years of marriage.
“We’re not having sex, and I completely understand,” Arquette, 39, said. “She’s in a place of wanting to be real and emotional. She’s an emotional being. She’s an amazing woman. If it doesn’t feel right, she doesn’t feel like bonding in that way.”
Arquetted added that Cox, 46, wants him to grow up.
“She says that to me: ‘I don’t want to be your mother anymore,'” he said. “I appreciated that. I respected that. I’ve been going to therapy. I’m trying to grow up.”
The couple announced they were splitting on Monday. In a statement, they said they are trying a “trial separation” and that their split “dates back for some time.”
“The reason for this separation is to better understand ourselves and the qualities we need in a partner and for our marriage,” the statement added. “We remain best friends and responsible parents to our daughter and we still love each other deeply.”
Cox and Arquette met in 1996 on the set of the first “Scream” movie. They have one daughter together, Coco, 6.
While Cox’s career seemed to generate more steam than Arquette’s — after gaining fame on “Friends” in the ’90s, she went on to appear in a number of movies and headline TV series, including FX’s “Dirt” and ABC’s “Cougar Town” — they reunited on set over the summer to film “Scream 4,” and things appeared to be fine.
“It’s nostalgic,” Arquette told People magazine in June about filming “Scream 4” with Arquette. “We met on ‘Scream 1,’ and on ‘Scream 2’ we were kind of on-and-off dating. And by ‘Scream 3’ we were married. And now on ‘Scream 4’ we have a child. It’s sort of an amazing marker throughout our lives.”
As recently as last week, Arquette seemed smitten with Cox as well. He wrote on his Twitter account from Cox’s “Cougar Town” dressing room Friday.
“Courteney’s ‘Cougar Town’ dressing room. The girl’s got style,” Arquette wrote, adding a photograph of the room.
And, in June, Arquette dismissed reports that his marriage was on the rocks as he and Cox celebrated their 11th wedding anniversary.
“You know, it’s weird, because it turns up in the tabloids, and your friends start calling you like there’s a problem,” he told People magazine. “There’s
nothing . We have a really great, beautiful relationship.”
Courtney Cox and Arquette’s marriage wasn’t without problems. Her struggle to get pregnant led her to advocate having children soon after marriage.
“In retrospect, I would say: don’t wait as long as I did, especially if you want more than one child,” Cox told People magazine in 2008, adding that she faced “a lot of in vitro fertilization,” a process she recalled as “tough.”
In the same interview, Cox also revealed that she wanted another child.
“I’d like another child, and maybe if it doesn’t work out, I’ll adopt,” she said.
Cox and Arquette also sought help for their marital problems. In a candid profile featured in the August issue of InStyle magazine, Cox — who didn’t wear her wedding ring during the interview — went into detail about the couple’s fights.
“We’ve done couples therapy in the past. We’re not lazy about our marriage,” she said. “We have the same arguments we’ve had for years.”
“Some things just never change, and you should realize that the intriguing things you fall in love with will probably become the things that you don’t like,” she added, “and the very things that you’ll be talking about for the rest of your relationship.”
Now, it appears both parties may be starting new relationships. According to Life & Style magazine, Arquette has been dating bartender and aspiring actress Jasmine Waltz, 27.
Meanwhile, the star of “Cougar Town” could be a cougar on the prowl. Rumors are swirling that Cox has been having a more-than-professional relationship with her co-star, Brian Van Holt, 40. RadarOnline.com quoted an unnamed source saying that Holt and Cox often spend time together off-set.
Gayblackcanada 