Is It Possible For A Gay & Straight Man To Be Friends?

A few weeks ago, I received an e-mail from Rahi and I was surprised.  Rahi is  a young  South Asian man  I met  at a  meetup.com movie event in Toronto last year in November 2009. We watched the Chris Rock documentary Good Hair with a movie group.

I assumed everyone at the meetup.com group was heterosexual. I went home and I received a message from Rahi and he left a greeting.

Anyway, Rahi’s message  was to keep in touch and he wanted to know if I was interested in seeing more movies.

We watched a second movie together in December 2009  the terrible action flick Ninja Assassin!

I told Rahi I was going to meet him at Yonge & Eglinton theatre and take the subway. Rahi said he didn’t mind picking me up and driving to the movie

theatre. I told Rahi that it was okay I don’t mind taking the subway but he said he would pick me up so he did.

I don’t like action movies but since Rahi didn’t want to see “Precious” because he felt the movie was too depressing. We watched Ninja Assassin and I have to say the film just terrible.

After we  watched Ninja Assassin, Rahi and I went to a coffee shop to talk. He offered to pay for my food even though I told him not to. Rahi insisted and he did.

Next, in mid December  I asked Rahi if he wanted to see the Princess & The Frog Disney movie. Rahi sent me an e-mail message

saying “I will pass.” I  did not respond to Rahi’s message last year because I thought it was rude. After all, I saw Ninja Assassin yet he wouldn’t see a

movie I wanted to see. I saw The Princess & The Frog with a female friend and I really enjoyed the movie.

Anyway, I was just stunned that Rahi e-mailed me because I just figured he was out of my life.

I finally mustered the courage to ask Rahi about his sexual orientation.

I asked Rahi if he is gay, straight, or bisexual. Rahi answered in an e-mail “I am totally mesmerized by the ladies.”  I let Rahi know that I am openly gay and he said ” I kind of figured by looking at my meetup.com profile.” Rahi also  said that he knows I am gay and that ” it doesn’t change my opinion of you.” He continued “whenever I am in Toronto we can  catch up and see a movie together.”

I have to admit I am prejudiced. I never met a straight man who was interested in getting to know me. I guess I feel kind of weird I don’t know what to think?

I know this might sound strange but what do heterosexual men talk about? The only straight man I know is my older brother and we are not close.

I talked to a couple of people about this situation. Two of my friends Irina and Edward both say they think Rahi is bisexual or bicurious. However, isn’t it also possible that Rahi just happens to be a heterosexual man who is secure with his heterosexuality?

I don’t know what to say to Rahi? What would you do?

I am just afraid, I don’t want to get close to another person again. I don’t mean in a romantic sense, I mean in  relation to having an emotional connection. I feel  in my life I have disappointed people and they have disappointed me as well.  However, another side of me feels that maybe Rahi and I can have a genuine friendship? I never had a heterosexual male friend before. I am cognizant that not  all straight men are homophobic assholes.

A part of me wonders why does Rahi want to get to know me anyway? Maybe this relates to my self-esteem perhaps?