She Wired.com article: Queen Latifah Is Afraid To Declare She Is A Lesbian Due To Fear The Black Community Will Reject Her!
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| Long before the African- American celebrity gossip, news, popular culture and entertainment blog Bossip.com outed Dana Owens a.k.a Queen Latifah with photos of her and gal pal and “personal trainer” Jeanette Jenkins in a tender embrace not for public viewing, the century-long reliable “chitlin’ circuit” told us our closeted Queen was “in the life.”
Queen Latifah, however, emphatically refuted the rumors as scurrilous attacks.
“It’s insulting when someone asks, ‘Are you gay?’ A woman cannot be strong, outspoken, competent at running her own business, handle herself physically, play a very convincing role in a movie, know what she wants—and go for it—without being gay? Come on, ” Queen Latifah wrote in her 1999 autobiography, Ladies First: Revelations of a Strong Woman. But when photos from R&B soul diva Alicia Keyes’s recent nuptials of Queen Latifah and Jenkins intimately embraced aboard a private French yacht in France went viral on the Internet the public’s long awaited “Gotcha” moment was sad.
“My private life is my private life. Whomever I might be with, I don’t feel the need to share it. I don’t think I ever will, ” Queen Latifah said in a November 2007 interview with People magazine, refuting rumors that she’s a lesbian. Hip-hop culture displays a hyper masculinity and this male-dominated genre is aesthetically built on the most misogynistic and homophobic strains of Black Nationalism and afrocentricism. In 1989, at age 19, Queen Latifah changed the way many of us viewed hip-hop with her hit single “Ladies First” from her first album “All Hail the Queen,” rebuking misogynistic lyrics, and bringing to young women an uplifting message of self-respect and empowerment. As one of the most prominent and influential female hip-hoppers of her generation, however, Queen Latifah hid her sexuality as a way to not only survive her own internalized homophobia, but also the musical genre’s. “I feel more comfortable with myself–my sexuality, my mentality and my viewpoint” Queen Latifah told “People.” And Queen Latifah’s viewpoint, even with these recent damaging photos of her with Jenkins, is hell-bent on not disclosing. What set off the on-going flurry of queries concerning Queen Latifah’s sexual orientation was her portrayal as a butch lesbian in the 1996 movie Set it Off. And the response from the African American community ranged from applause to outrage.
For her portrayal as “Cleopatra ‘Cleo’ Sims” Queen Latifah received the American Black Film Festival Award for best actress, and the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Actress in a Motion Picture. But within the hip-hop community Queen Latifah’s butch lesbian “Cleo” wasn’t well received; it cast her within this community as a liability, bringing attention to not only her sexual orientation but also bringing attention to the questionable sexual orientations of others. And, Queen Latifah’s emphatic denunciation of her lesbianism only fed more curiosity and intrigue about the “down-low” gay and lesbian subculture of hip-hop. For example, former MTV producer, Terrance Dean, wrote a page-turning memoir titled “Hiding in Hip-Hop: Confessions of a Down Low Brother in the Entertainment Industry” depicting his “down low” dalliances with married Hollywood and Hip-hop’s leading black men “living a double life”. “The very men who they think aren’t doing anything is the very man that is hiding in hip-hop,” Dean told Danica Dow in a 2008 interview with the hip-hop news website SOHH.com. Dean’s book created enormous fear and angered among many prominent hip-hoppers. In a 2008 SOHH.com interviewed hip-hoppers Yung Berg, who’s first single “Sexy Lady” peaked at #18 on the Billboard 100, and Nelly, who’s ranked as the 3rd Top Overall Artist of the 2000-2009 decade by Billboard Magazine, about Dean’s book and “down-low” gay subculture of hip-hop. “You could f*ck up a man happy home,” Yung Berg told SOHH.com. “It might be the dude who wear his boxers on backwards every damn day dats getting hit in the ss… homo damn dude u talk about in the book but he probably still got a wife and kids and you might f*ck up his life.” Hip-hop artist Nelly shared his view on the matter stating, “Like I played sports a lot, you know, so I’m like ‘what goes on in the locker room stays in the locker room. It’s like a guy’s sanctuary. You may say some sh*t in here you don’t never want to get out there.” Some argue that hp-hop forced Queen Latifah to be closeted. Others argue she had enough clout and crossover appeal to not worry about it. But Queen Latifah, no doubt, did worry about it. For years, Queen Latifah has held private same-sex parties with all in attendance understanding to be on the “down-low” about it. That intimate and tender embrace Queen Latifah shared with her long-time lover aboard the yacht in France at Keyes’ wedding was to be on the “down-low,” too. But in those perceived stolen moments when you think no one’s watching, especially far out in the waters, are really when you’re most vulnerable. And it’s not because someone snapped a photo of you, but rather it’s because you thought you could hide |
Vera Zvonareva & Kim Clijsters Advance To The US Open Women’s Finals!!!
Kim Clijsters of Belgium outlasted Venus Williams 4-6 7-6 6-4 to reach her fourth US Open women’s final. Clijsters has proven she owns Venus Williams. Clijsters has won the last five matches against Venus and leads the series 7-6.
The difference between the Williams Sisters is, Serena is more consistent but also she is a fighter. Venus lacks the passion and the belief necessary to rise to the top of women’s tennis.
Richard Williams said that Serena is “meaner” on the tennis court than Venus. Serena is also a superior tennis player she just hates losing matches!
Time is not on Venus Williams side. Chris Evert, Martina Navratilova are exceptions to the rule that women can win grand slam titles after they turn thirty.
I believe today the door has closed and it is time for Venus to quit and retire from the game. Venus had a great career she managed to win seven grand slam singles titles and 43 WTA Tour titles in total.
However, I believe Venus is finished she just doesn’t have the “spark” the mental toughness to win big grand slam matches.
Meanwhile, Vera Zvonareva of Russia proved she’s getting mentally stronger. Zvonareva blasted the number one seed Caroline Wozniacki of Denmark 6-4 6-3 in straight sets. The media hype for Wozniacki was overbearing and extremely annoying. The media are desperate for a new pretty, young, blonde, to become a grand slam champion.
Wozniacki wins her tennis matches by being consistent, making few unforced errors, and running down a lot of tennis balls. Vera Zvonareva proved today when a powerful player rushes Wozniacki she will panic and make a lot of mistakes. The consistency was lacking in Wozniacki’s game today she looked uncertain on the tennis court.
Wozniacki has won four WTA Tour titles this year. The media underestimated Vera Zvonareva, because of her emotional tantrums on the tennis court. Zvonareva deserves a lot of credit for serving well, and charging the net to attack Wozniacki and keep her on the defenisve. Wozniacki made over thirty unforced errors and she lost the chance to become the number one player in the world. The media made it seem this US Open was “the moment” Wozniacki would become a champion. Time will tell “when” Caroline Wozniacki wins a grand slam event. The pressure of reaching the US Open final was too much for Wozniacki and this loss proves she still is a little mentally fragile in the grand slams.
Huffington Post Article: Writer Believes Tyler Perry’s New Drama For Colored Girls May Get Oscar Nominations.
September 10, 2010
Scott Mendelson
Film Critic and Pundit for Salon, Huffington Post, and Mendelson’s Memos
As David Poland correctly predicted just a week ago, Lionsgate has moved the newest Tyler Perry film, For Colored Girls, from its original January 14th, 2011 slot into the heart of the awards season. It will now open wide on November 5th, which is incidentally the same weekend that Precious (which Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey put their names on after the fact to insure a Lionsgate distribution) debuted in limited release, wracking up a record $108,000 per each of its eighteen screens. The film is a change of pace for Perry, as it is the first time that he is directing a film based on a prior source, the 1975 Ntozake Shange play For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf. The play itself is a collection of twenty poems dealing with various social issues (rape, abortion, etc) that are performed by seven women known only by a color (‘Lady in Blue’, etc). The cast is pretty huge, and includes a handful of Perry veterans (Kimberly Elise, Janet Jackson, etc), along with Whoopi Goldberg, Kerry Washington, Loretta Devine, Phylicia Rashad, and Thandie Newton making their debut in the Tyler Perry sandbox. To be blunt, nothing would make me happier than seeing a Perry film as a possible Oscar contender.
He’s the only mainstream filmmaker outside of Clint Eastwood who consistently makes adult dramas. I can’t defend Madea Goes to Jail or Why Did I Get Married Too? (the last five minutes of that sequel contains the biggest ‘shoot yourself in the foot’ ending since Spanglish), but he has solid work on his filmography. I Can Do Bad All By Myself is a low-key and engaging musical drama, and Angela Basset and Lance Gross are stunningly good in Meet the Browns. All of his films, both good (The Family That Preys) and bad (Diary of a Mad Black Woman, which he did not direct) boast fine performances by underemployed actors of color. Viola Davis is terrific in Madea Goes to Jail, and Daddy’s Little Girls contains the first leading theatrical role for Idris Elba, as well as a fine supporting performance from Louis Gossett Jr. And anyone who consistently casts Cicily Tyson gets a gold star just for that. There are any number of undervalued black actors who I’d love to see stretching their (melo)dramatic muscles in Atlanta (cough-Tony Todd-cough), and I’d love to see Eddie Murphy try dramatic acting again in an environment where he wasn’t the biggest star on the set.
I contend that The Family That Preys, a dark and morally complicated family drama with great work from Alfre Woodard and Kathy Bates, would have been a serious contender had Perry been a more respected name at that point and/or it hadn’t been written off as a ‘black film’. I’m not saying it’s a masterpiece, but it’s a damn good melodrama with several ‘Oscar bait elements’. It’s also better than several of the actual Oscar contenders from 2008 (The Reader, Revolutionary Road, etc). It’s easily Perry’s best, most complicated, and satisfying picture yet, so of course, it’s his lowest-grossing film. All of his films certainly have problems (racial and class stereotypes, the need to swing for the fences in his comic work, making light of genuinely unpleasant behavior, etc), but he is growing as a filmmaker and his flawed stories are almost always ones worth telling and worth watching, especially as so few mainstream filmmakers are making old-fashioned melodramas. And for all the talk about his religious leanings, his films are firmly rooted in the Veggie Tales brand of Christianity, preaching compassion, forgiveness, and empathy over divisive social issues. We’ll see if critics of the future hold Perry to the same esteem that we hold Douglas Sirk today.
If Tyler Perry the fine director of actors has truly made the most out of the opportunity to work with a writer who doesn’t have Tyler Perry’s flaws, than we may be in for a real treat on November 5th.
Mixed Reactions From Oscar Watch Blog: Some People Think Tyler Perry May Hurt For Colored Girls From Obtaining Oscar Nominations!!!
32 Comments
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m1 says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 6:16pmIf Lionsgate expects the film to have any Oscar potential, Tyler Perry will have to screen his film for critics for the first time.
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Ryan B says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 6:16pmI don’t see any reason to discount this one so early. Lots of talent (and beauty) in those posters. Thankfully, Perry isn’t playing one of the girls.
If there’s a ringer, it might be Phylicia Rashad. She’s a big talent and well-respected. -
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Kevin Klawitter says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 6:20pmThe Blind Side slot, by the way, proves that film can get pretty bad reviews, completely miss the critics awards and guild awards, yet land a Best Picture nomination.
The difference is, “The Blind Side” mostly got middling-to-good reviews. It has a RT score of 66%, which while not great, proves it was’t the negative-review magnet it has been made out to be. Also, director John Lee Hancock has made more well-recieved movies than panned movies, and only one (The Alamo) could be considered a complete flop. Tyler Perry’s films (aside from his bit acting part in “Star Trek”) have never had more than 60%, and most are less than 30%. He’s never made a movie that could be considered a mainstream and critical hit.
I’m not saying that he can’t have the potential to make a great movie, I’m just saying “The Blind Side” had a better pedigree all around, and shouldn’t be compared to Tyler Perry movies.
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reuben says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 6:24pmWhoa. Those posters are amazing. Seriously, I can’t think of any posters this year that have topped those. Wow.
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RichardA says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 6:29pmThis might edge out The Inception.
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Sertan says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 6:30pmI dont think a movie that says “for colored girls” is much comparable to the Blind Side in terms of its appeal! It positions itself as a “niche market” movie to start with and may not reach to the same wide audience that Blind Side reached.
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Gentle Benj says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 6:52pm“If Lionsgate expects the film to have any Oscar potential, Tyler Perry will have to screen his film for critics for the first time.”
That’s a very good point. I have been thinking that this film could be a contender, since I see Perry as a better director than a writer, and this time he’s not working from his own screenplay. But yeah, if it doesn’t screen for critics, we’ll know it’s just more of the same from Perry.
“This might edge out The Inception.”
I don’t think they would even be in competition with each other, since The Inception is a porno from 2006.
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reuben says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:05pmGentle Benj: Bwahaha!!
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Josh says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:14pmI feel like this is still some elaborate joke being pulled by David Poland, who is (I believe) the first person to mention this film for Oscar consideration. I mean, it’s technically possible, but I don’t see any reason initially to consider this movie for the awards season.
And, yeah, I feel like Tree of Life not coming out in 2010 makes Inception closer to being a guaranteed nominee. It won’t be a guarantee until the nominations are announced, but Tree of Life bowing out is good news for every other contender. -
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Yvette says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:18pmHow refreshing would that be! I hope it’s good. Thandie Newton is gorgeous as the rest of the women are. I’m still pissed at that Hollywood Vanity Fair cover.
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Rashad says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:20pmNO I hope not.
Those are terrible posters. For a movie about “colored girls” they sure washed out their color.
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Gentle Benj says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:22pmOh God, I just read that Mendelson quote:
“He’s the only mainstream filmmaker outside of Clint Eastwood who consistently makes adult dramas.”
Can we find a cure for fogeyism already, so people will stop brandishing the word “adult” like a floppy truncheon?
Guess what! Adults enjoy all kinds of movies. Films like LOTR, Harry Potter, The Dark Knight, Star Trek, etc. did not make their hundreds of millions by allowance money alone. If adults like it, and it has drama, it’s a goddamn ADULT DRAMA. Even if it has a setting other than a middle class home. Even if it has special effects beyond a blue or sepia tint. And yea, even if a teenager also watches it on purpose. For fuck’s sake.
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Yvette says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:33pm@Rashad
I agree, now that I look at the posters again. I know she is not in this movie but Beyonce is getting whiter by the second. Kind of annoying.
I’m still going to be hopeful for this movie and the women in it though. -
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marshall says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:42pmTyler Perry makes too much money to not eventually be invited to the dance. I don’t even think he’d have to have a marked upturn in quality. Also I think a lot of this movie’s potential comes from him not having written it.
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Bob Burns says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 7:56pm“Anyone who ever went to acting school…” is the money quote, IMO. If, underline that, if, this is a great production that reminds voter why they loved the play back when they were young, it will have a hook.
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R. T. says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 8:52pmI think its pretty impossible for this to be good enough to be nominated. The play is excellent and the writer of the play is the screenwriter but its a play of monologues and its difficult to imagine how it would translate to film. The cast is VERY excellent but the big turd in the punch bowl is Tyler Perry. A talented businessman (though some question his practices) but untalented writer AND director. Any number of talented directors would have had trouble turning this material into a movie, although it would have been very interesting to see them try. Tyler Perry as the director pretty much dooms it though.
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Alfredo says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 9:28pmIt’s possible…especially since Perry is a member of the Academy and has friends in the Academy (ie Oprah)
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Gentle Benj says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 9:44pmFor those familiar with the play (I’m not), whose role would you say is most ripe for awards attention?
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kmoore8435 says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 10:17pmI am by no means a Perry cheerleader. Most of his movies are overwrought melodrama with low brow comedy thrown into the mix. But understand, Perry DID NOT write this film nor the play; he’s only directing and with a good DP…anything is possible.
The casts is filled with talented actresses who are so seasoned, not even Tyler could f* them up. So here’s hoping he delivers something that brings a bit of ‘color’ to the Oscars next year.
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Chance says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 10:36pm@Gentle Benj, the Lady In Red was the big Tony winner and the role everyone remembers (the Lady in Brown a close runner up), but in the film’s script, some of the big Red moments (one in particular) was given to the Lady in Orange so that means we’re looking at Janet and Thandie, just based on the Tony Awards. Lady in Red is FIERCE.
And oh-man-oh-man I love the posters! I’ve been waiting for this flick like I waited for every musical/Batman film/Michael Bolton CD (judge me, I care not), so every tease is so delicious!! -
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Walter L. Hollmann says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 10:38pmBut For Colored Girls is about abuse, the long emotional, physical, psychological abuses borne by black women at the hands of their men, white society, etc. Am I remembering it wrong?
Gentle Benj: The play doesn’t really have “roles”. Each woman wears a different colored dress, no one has a name, and all their monologues tend to bleed into each other. It’s more of a collection of poems than a play, so finding the “awards bait” role is impossible. If this has any acting play at all, it’s for SAG Ensemble and that’s it. -
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Chance says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 10:41pmGAH, they gave them names? And how unimaginative!
Kerry is Kelly
Thandie is Tangie
Janet is Jo (ie Damita Jo maybe?)
Phylicia is Gilda
Whoopi is Alice (ie Alice Walker? Tyler Perry would)
Kimberly is Crystal?
Tessa is Nyla?
Loretta is Juanita?
That’s just lazy. -
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Gentle Benj says:
Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 11:18pmThanks for the insight, Chance and Walter. Sounds like we’ll have to wait and see if the critics single anyone out (again, that’s if they get to see it before release, heh). Until then, I suppose the smart money is on Rashad.
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the other mike says:
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 1:35am1 year on and we still hating on The Blind Side? elites really hated that movie huh? smh. well, there is a big patch of land between manhattan and malibu that loved it. Reminds me of country music, gets no play in elits music critical circles but is the biggest genre. we need to come together as Americans and embrace eachother.
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mirko36 says:
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 1:38amI’m almost confident about this one, because I liked the play and I love the marvelous ladies they casted
Academy Award Nominee Janet Jackson? I like it, but maybe it’s more likely Academy Award Nominee Phylicia Rashad…we’ll see
ps: I know that Janet is already an Oscar nominated songwriter, I just wondering if she could score a second time as best supporting actress
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Gentle Benj says:
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 1:43amNominations for both acting and songwriting would definitely put Jackson in an exclusive club. Streisand has done it; who else?
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the other mike says:
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 4:32amJanet Jackson is an incredible artist, it would be just reward if she got nominated.
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Pete says:
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 5:17amFuck you Other Mike. You don’t get to bitch about “elites” and then self righteously declare that Americans need to “come together”.
Country music is NOT the biggest genre in terms of sales. That would be hip hop. Of course because that music is performed primarily by black people, I guess it doesn’t really register in your pea brain. -
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Will says:
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 7:27amI’m a little more hopeful because of that cast and because he didn’t write it.
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Chance says:
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 8:47amNo one can say “elites” without me thinking of Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, no matter the context.
I know, I’d be happy if ANY lady got a nom out of this cast. Like it was just posted, the Oscars are a one night stand. The nomination could be “Hey, Thandie, sorry you didn’t get nommed for Crash, but aren’t you grateful that now you aren’t linked to that backlash?” or “Hey, Kerry, this is a promise of things to come. Promise we’ll call you sometime before the week is out.” or “Phylicia, is it true that you never won an Emmy for The Cosby Show? Well, let me break you off a piece of this!”
I should really stop doing acid before breakfast….
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Ibad says:
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 10:04amI think the best shot for a nomination here would be in the weaker Supporting Actress one, though I’m not sure which one would make it (I’m not sure whose role is baitier than another, I guess it’d be down to former winner Whoopi and veteran Rashad). But I guess I can see it taking a “Blind Side” slot.
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Gil says:
Friday, September 10, 2010 at 10:51amThis might come off as somewhat racist, but it seems like there are a few too many black chicks in this film for my taste.
Screen crave article: Here Is The Cast For Tyler Perry’s New Drama For Colored Girls!!!
Character Banners For Tyler Perry’s ‘For Colored Girls’
Sep 09, 2010 – By Krystal Clark
Lionsgate has just released 8 new character banners for Tyler Perry’s latest film For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf. The film features an all star cast of actresses who each portray a complex and traumatized character. It’s based on the stage play of the same name that was written by Ntozake Shange. Check out the cast below…
The play was originally produced in 1975 and was a poetic exploration of what it is to be of color and a female in this world. In the above photos we see all the ladies of the cast including Anika Noni Rose (as Yasmine), Kerry Washington (as Kelly), Janet Jackson (as Joanna), Kimberly Elise (as Crystal), Phylicia Rashad (as Gilda), Loretta Devine (as Juanita), and Thandie Newton (Tangie).
This will be the first film that Tyler Perry has directed that isn’t based on his own, original material. It will be interesting to see if he can pull it off. Good luck!
For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf is scheduled to hit theaters on November 5th.
What do you think of the character banners for the film? Which one is your favorite?
The Official Poster For Janet Jackson’s New Drama For Colored Girls!!!
Janet Jackson’s ‘For Colored Girls’ Promo Poster Unveiled
Janet Jackson
is seeing red on the poster for the upcoming Tyler Perry-directed For Colored Girls (formerly titled For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf).
The film, based on the 1975 stage play of the same name, focuses on seven women who discuss their battles with love, abandonment, and domestic violence, with an all-star cast that includes Anika Noni Rose, Kerry Washington, Janet Jackson, Kimberly Elise, Phylicia Rashad, Loretta Devine, Tessa Thompson, and Thandie Newton.
For Colored Girls is slated to hit theaters on Nov. 5, but get a sneak peek of the cast on set below.
Anika Noni Rose, Kerry Washington, Janet Jackson, Kimberly Elise, Phylicia Rashad, Loretta Devine, Tessa Thompson, and Thandie Newton.
Huffington Post Article: Actress Regina King Slams Emmy Awards Says The Show Is Racist Against Black Actors!
Since the Emmy ceremony, I have been going back and forth about whether or not I should compose this letter. I try hard in my daily life not to engage in uncomfortable situations regarding race. But sometimes it’s very difficult to find other reasons that better explain why certain events play out the way they do. It is impossible for me to ignore the published statistics regarding the number of people of color mentioned, celebrated or honored in the history of the televised Emmys. Up to and including this year, there have been only 53 non-white actors nominated for Emmys out of nearly 1,000 possible nominations in the top four acting categories for drama and comedy.
I’ve worked in television nearly all of my professional life, and that statistic is quite sobering to me. And to add injury to my already sensitive nerve endings a picture of Rutina Wesley from True Blood, who attended this year’s Emmys, had a caption that read: “Regina King enters the 62nd Emmys.” No, I wasn’t there. Mistakes happen, right? Well after a few “mistakes” of how people of color are portrayed in the Hollywood media, I decided it was important to say something about how things go down in Hollywood.
The initial pull on my heart strings was not seeing the veteran Sesame Street actress Alaina Reed Hall included in this year’s memoriam. I know I am taking it somewhat personally because of the history I shared with her, but then I stopped to think about the fact that she was on Sesame Street for 12 years, a show that is an American institution. People of all ages and generations have seen and enjoyed this highly influential television show. You have to admit, to not recognize her contribution to television baffles the mind. I first wondered, maybe I had turned my head quickly and missed seeing Alaina’s picture scroll past the screen or she was mentioned later. But no such luck.
I am assuming other actors have lost someone close to them who weren’t recognized during that segment of previous Emmy telecasts. So I will take the stats about people of color out of my complaint and pose an essential question on behalf of any television artist of note working in our business. What is the process in determining who will and will not be recognized during the Emmy memoriam?
CNN Article Shocking News:72% Of African American Children Are Born Out Of Wedlock!!!
CNN
(CNN) — Had she been born a generation earlier, Kim Hoffman might have had a shotgun wedding. As it turned out, she and Steve Miller took the time to plan their dream nuptials — outdoors, on an organic farm, and with their 10-month-old daughter in tow.
Kim Hoffman and Steve Miller pose on their September 2005 wedding day with 10-month-old daughter, Sadie.
A pre-marriage birth certainly wasn’t what her father wanted for his only daughter, said Hoffman, of Oakland, California. But seven months into her relationship with Miller, the unplanned pregnancy simply changed life’s course.
“We would have headed down this path. The pregnancy just accelerated things,” she said of the couple’s cohabitation, the birth of Sadie and their 2005 wedding. “It was the way it was meant to be.”
Along with magazine-cover grabbers like Angelina Jolie and Bristol Palin, Hoffman, today a 39-year-old mother of three, is part of a now record-breaking trend of women who give birth outside of wedlock.
Nearly 40 percent of babies born in the United States in 2007 were delivered by unwed mothers, according to data released last month by the National Center for Health Statistics. The 1.7 million out-of-wedlock births, of 4.3 million total births, marked a more than 25 percent jump from five years before.
Statistics such as these, which include for the second year in a row a bump in teen pregnancies, after a 14-year decline, leave Sarah Brown concerned. She worries about the children born to unwed parents — about the disadvantages they often face, including increased likelihood of poverty and greater high school dropout rates.
See the number of out-of-wedlock births by race and age »
“I wish people spent as much time planning when to get pregnant, with whom, under what circumstances as they do planning their next vacation,” said Brown, the CEO and founding director of The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. “The stigma [of out-of-wedlock births] has eroded, and these numbers made me feel perhaps it’s disappeared altogether.”
That stigma Brown speaks of, however, isn’t one that LaShanda Henry, 28, or the women in her family before her, would have known. Her parents never married. And her grandmother only had a wedding when she was in her 60s.
So when Henry, of Greenville, North Carolina, and her boyfriend of now five years, Jean Paul, had Christopher two years ago, there was no pressure to race down the aisle.
“Culturally speaking” taking vows wasn’t expected, said Henry, who runs the Black Moms Club, an online social network, and the Web-only Mahogany Momma Magazine. “Do we want to spend that money on a wedding or a house? … I guess it’s about priorities. I was never one of those girls that dreamed about the wedding dress.”
What she said about cultural differences and expectations might help explain some of the numbers. Other data released last month showed the percentage of unwed mothers differs from race to race. While 28 percent of white women gave birth out of wedlock in 2007, nearly 72 percent of black women and more than 51 percent of Latinas did.
“With the publicity of our first family,” meaning the Obamas, Henry said in a discussion group entry, marriage might “slowly become more of a norm for all.”
Don’t Miss
Henry’s experience also echoes what Paula England, a Stanford University sociology professor, learned when she co-edited “Unmarried Couples with Children,” which was published in 2007. That book traced for four years 50 unmarried couples, the majority of them black or Latino, that had babies in 2000, and the findings shot down some of her predictions.
England assumed many of the fathers would have high-tailed it out of the picture by the sixth month of pregnancy, leaving single mothers “truly single,” the sociologist said. Instead, she found that in 80 percent of the non-marital births, parents stayed romantically involved and in 50 percent of the cases they were living together.
Still, the bulk of responsibility often falls to the mother. According to a 2008 survey by the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 9.8 million single mothers versus 1.8 million single fathers.
Support groups, such as Sisters Helping Sisters, exist to help single moms, providing them with resources, tips and empathetic ears.
Founded in 1997, the Kansas City, Missouri, program was the brainchild of Teri Worton Brooks, now 39. She was in her early 20s when she found herself with a baby boy to take care of on her own.
“I had no clue how to raise him and no clue how to better my life,” she said. “But I knew there was a sisterhood among women. … We could learn from one another.”
The bulk of babies born to unwed mothers may be unplanned, but that doesn’t take into account lesbian couples or women who’ve decided to go it alone. For many of them, the decision is the result of years of thought and emotional soul-searching.
When California Cryobank, which claims to be the world’s largest sperm bank, opened its doors in the late 1970s, 99 percent of its business catered to couples grappling with male infertility, spokesman Scott Brown said. Now, that market in the sperm donor world accounts for less than 14 percent, according to projections by Charles Sims, the organization’s co-founder and medical director.
About 50,000 women delivering babies each year are single moms by choice, said Mikki Morrissette, author of “Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman’s Guide,” and founder of the online resource Choice Moms.
Many of these mothers choose to tap known or anonymous sperm donors as the biological clock begins to pound. Perhaps they are like Morrissette, who divorced in her early 30s, wasn’t in a hurry to jump into another relationship and decided to have kids on her own.
While she and many other single mothers by choice can afford this option, David Popenoe worries about the example they’re setting in a society where children still benefit most from married parents, he said.
Other women might look at these single mothers by choice and say, “‘So many people are doing it, why shouldn’t I just go ahead?'” said Popenoe, founder and co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University in New Jersey. “It’s part of a slippery slope.”
Janet Kaufman wasn’t looking to influence anyone else; her personal decision, after loads of research, became a “practical matter.”
The University of Utah English professor was in her mid-30s, single and figured even if she met someone immediately it might be a couple years before she’d feel comfortable having a child with that man.
Her parents offered encouragement. In fact her father proposed the idea of a donor. And her friends stepped up in ways she described as “just extraordinary.”
“I had some concerns and fears,” said Kaufman, 44, who ended up marrying one year after she had a second child by the same anonymous donor. “But I felt like with the right kind of support … somehow I would make it work.”
After her daughter’s arrival came the question of how to discuss this situation with a child. She found her answer — talk about it early and often — through someone in the widespread network, Single Mothers by Choice.
Kaufman began explaining before her daughter, and later son, could talk. She found books, bearing titles such as “A Family Like Yours,” which she read frequently, and even penned a story of her own. She knew from the start that she would always be honest.
“I’m sure they’ll have a lot of feelings as they grow up, but I don’t want it to be complicated by my not being open with them,” she said. “In communicating with them about their origins, I’m also communicating with them about me — the hopes I had, the dreams I had … It’s important for them to know how much they were wanted.”
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