I Got Called “Colored” Wednesday Evening At The Informal Social Anxiety Group.

If you have social anxiety,  you may want to check out Earla Dunbar’s amazing informal Social Anxiety Support Group meetings at the Centre For Addiction & Mental Health. The meetings are on Wednesday evenings at 7pm to 8:30pm at the College Street site in Toronto.

Last year, I attended Earla’s group frequently. Although later in 2009, I was involved in intensive group therapy called “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” at the Centre For addiction & Mental Health. I give Earla a lot of credit, for helping me to think about becoming more social and moving in the right direction.

I think Earla deserves a medal for the excellent work she does for the Toronto’s social anxiety community. Anyway, at last week Wednesday’s meeting, I decided to return and Earla made this amazing comment “I thought I needed a man to make me happy.”

I replied “Earla you are right, I thought the same thing. I  thought I needed a man to make me happy too. It took me a real long time to realize my happiness is my own  responsibility. I don’t need a man.” I replied.

Earla and I both laughed, because she knows the bullshit drama I went through last year with the Punjabi gay man.

It took me a long time to realize that my happiness is not “based” on having a “man” it is about doing things that make me happy.

Next, at the end of the meeting this rude woman Wendy she says “hey you the colored guy with the glasses can you say your point again.” I was shocked, because first off I am not “colored” I am “black”. I didn’t know what to say? I said to myself “did this woman just call me colored?” I decided not to make a scene and I repeated the comment I had made to Earla.

After the meeting, Earla and I had a chat and she was pissed she said “have we returned to Gone With The Wind? I am going to talk to Wendy.” I said “no Earla don’t talk to Wendy because then she will think I told you to talk to her.” Earla said “no Orville, Wendy was out of line and she needs to know that kind of language is unacceptable to the group.” Earla replied.

I thought about it, after the meeting I did become angry because I told Irina, Dave,  and Ron at Tim Hortons when we had coffee “did we return to the 1960s?”

Dave said “even though Toronto is a multicultural city, some white people live in a bubble. Some of  these all white neighbourhoods are like this they don’t have any sense.” By the way, Dave is a white man and he said this.

Ron and Irina agreed that Wendy’s comment was totally inappropriate. Earla e-mailed me to ask “are you coming back to the group?” She also let me know that she had a talk with Wendy. Wendy claimed her “anxiety” was the reason she called me “colored”. Earla told Wendy ” the comment is totally unacceptable.”

I replied back to Earla “of course, I wil return to the group and yes Wendy’s comment was totally unacceptable.”  I am glad that Earla “immediately” was aware that the word “colored” is not only offensive the word is archaic and obselete.

The word “colored”, is a term racists used in the twentieth century to treat black people as though we are less than human. I felt less than human when Wendy made the racist comment. Well, at least I know what Wendy is all about. If she tries to talk that way to me again, I will make sure that I to speak up.