Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy Is Hard Work

Yesterday, I walked out of the cognitive behavioral therapy session  at the Centre For Addiction & Mental Health in Toronto.

However, I also returned to the therapy session because Dr. Beaman helped me to realize I am not alone.

At 1:45pm yesterday afternoon I started to feel anxious and I just wanted to escape from the therapy session.

I just said “sorry I have to go I can’t do this” and I walked out of the room.

I have a mental health condition called social anxiety disorder also known as social phobia disorder.

Sometimes, I become very nervous in social situations and I isolate myself from the

world.

This year I feel I have made some progress

I am starting to make new friends but I also

realized that I require therapy.

However, I started Cognitive Behavioural Therapy also known as CBT therapy at the beginning of September 2009 to learn to “cope better” with

the world. The therapy is “not” a  magic bullet or pill it simply is a way to learn coping mechanisms to dealing with social interactions.

The first three sessions were pretty easy but the intensity of the sessions have increased.

I arrived at the therapy session in a bad mood. It is hard to explain, some days I wake up in a good mood but other days I wake up feeling miserable.

Anyway, I got to say thank you to Dr. Amanda Beaman because she caught me right before I got on the elevator. She said “Orville, can I speak to you for a moment.”  I said “sure Dr. Beaman”.

She said “Are you okay?”

I said “no I’m just not in a good mood today and I apologize if I was rude or out of line.”

Dr. Beaman says “no Orville I’ve had patients walk out of therapy before. Orville I would like you to come back to the therapy session.”

I said “but maybe the other group members will now stare at me or something? Maybe I made it bigger then it needs to be?”

Next, Dr. Beaman says “Orville I am sure everyone will be pleased that you came back.”

“Okay I will come back.” I did return to the therapy session.

Today’s therapy session was not easy we were being video taped by Dr. Beaman  while  having conversations with each other.

One girl in the therapy session when she was video taped she became very nervous. It just proves how hard cognitive behavioural therapy is.

I completed my video tape session with another patient in the group and it actually went well. Dr. Beaman video taped everyone for three minutes.

In about two weeks we are going to review our video taped sessions and see how our body reacts to anxiety.