Poem: Impossible Love By Orville Lloyd Douglas

Sometimes I wonder as I stare into the turbulent night’s sky

Is he real or does he have a  heart of stone?

Wondering if it wasn’t meant to be?

Honesty is more painful than being in limbo

His words  burns like fire and scars my spirit and soul

Yet I am attracted to this flame that hurts

This light that once burned bright that stings

This desire that is now extinguished

But why?

What was so special about him anyway?

This sunburst that causes confusion and doubt

Sometimes I think about his brown skin, his hairy chest, his strong legs,  his dark lips, next to mine

Sometimes I ponder as I twist and turn in my bed reaching out for him

Sometimes I wake up realizing it was just a mirage or  a vision

Are his sentences filled with dissemblance and veracity or lies?

Sometimes I realize this will never be

His words are deleterious the calm before the storm

What if? What if?

Was the conclusion  inevitable like a detour or a road block?

Can we survive the war of our families?

Navigate the bullets of self preservation?

Dodging the questions about the truth?

What if?

What if?

Sometimes I understand with my heart instead of my head

Wondering

What if?

What if?