Weight Loss Update I Lost 30 Pounds In Four Months Still Not Extremely Thin

I had a doctor’s appointment last week Thursday and I learned I have lost 30 pounds in four months. The doctor says I currently weight 205 pounds. I am not sure I will ever weight 150 pounds again like ten years ago. I remember I was so young, so skinny, so rail thin, I could see my ribs poking through my skin. I also have a problem with binge eating.

Sometimes I was so depressed and sad I quietly left the house in the middle of the night and ran to the corner store. Next, I bought potato chips, chocolate bars, candy, and devoured everything because I felt empty inside about my life not because I was hungry. I wasn’t hungry I was trying to fill a void in my life with food. I soon realized I had a food addiction. Sometimes because I was lazy I didn’t bother going to the supermarket I just ordered an entire pizza and ate it. I passed out after eating the entire pizza other times I wanted to slit my wrists with shaving blades because I hated myself so much I wanted to die.

Next, I passed out waking up wishing I was dead. I hated looking in the mirror looking at my face I cried a lot about my weight. I still cry about my weight sometimes because I am still frustrated. I don’t think I am ever going to have the perfect body, the toned thin legs, the strong thighs, the rock hard abs, the big muscles, thin waist, or shiny perfect skin.

I have received a lot of complements on my body from men but sometimes I don’t believe it. First off, I question if whether the men that give me complements really like me or just want to get into my pants? I have always felt insecure about my body. I still see myself as the depressed overweight man that thinks about committing suicide.

I have broad shoulders and my upper chest, abdomen, and thighs, has slimmed down considerably. Now I am going to talk about an issue any man that has battled with weight loss can understand. My man boobs are just about gone. When I was overweight I actually had a chest yes I admit this!

I am a man of average height I am five feet eleven inches tall. I definitely feel a lot better due to the hard work. I can’t believe I have avoided fast food joints such as McDonalds, and Burger King for the past four months! I started working out on December 4th 2007 and I workout at least two to four times a week for forty to fifty minutes. Sometimes I will exercise for fifty minutes but other times I will exercise for forty minutes. There are a few times I worked out five and six times a week. The only week I didn’t workout was when I was in Jamaica earlier this year for my grandfather’s funeral.

I remember when I was twenty years old I could eat anything I desired and not gain a pound. Now I read labels and make sure I count calories all the time. I also drink lots of water. I decreased my sugar intake and try to stay away from soda drinks. The problem is the food I eat is kind of bland and boring. I eat a lot of rice cakes and drink water. When I am not home I eat whole wheat submarines because I can’t think of anything else healthy to eat. I get really scared about food I become frightened that I will gain all the weight back. I don’t want to be heavy again. The fear fuels the fire and pushes me to workout even harder.

My doctor is pleased with my weight loss and I feel good about my commitment to an intense exercise regime. However, I am still not completely satisfied. I feel like I have reached a plateau. From February 2008 to April 3rd 2008 I have only lost six pounds in the past two months! I am so pissed! I workout so hard I try to watch my diet, count calories, and I only lost six friggin pounds in the past two months! I always make sure that I don’t eat past eight in the evening.

I am much slimmer now it feels good to visit the store and pick up a size 34 or 36 men’s pair of jeans and slip it on. I definitely have more energy and I don’t feel tired or lethargic during the day. My face is much slimmer and my body is becoming more defined. I think I need to buy myself a jump rope or something or some weights? Maybe when the weather gets a little better in the Toronto area I will play tennis and start jogging. I do lift a little bit of weights after the cardiovascular exercise. Does anyone have any advice on how to lose weight really fast? I know I am on the right track but I just want to lose the weight even faster now.