Is Male Sexuality Still Demonized And Taboo In North America?

The former governor of New York state Eliot Spitzer has resigned because he was identified as a client of an exclusive prostitution ring. The most shocking aspect is that Spitzer allegedly paid $80,000 dollars to pay for the services of a female. $80,000 that’s an incredible amount of money! Spitzer is a married father and he has three teenaged daughters.

I felt kind of sad watching Spitzer’s wife on CNN because the poor woman she looked depressed, shell shocked, embarrassed, and humiliated standing next to her cheating husband. I wondered why does Mrs. Spitzer even bother? Why is she still supporting her man when she can just leave him and divorce him? Some people view Spitzer’s fall from grace as justice because he created laws and acted morally superior. In the end Spitzer couldn’t even live up to his own impossible standards.

In North American politics in order to be successful in the political arena you have to live in the paradigm of the perfect nuclear  family. The politician has to be married, have beautiful intelligent children, and live in a big house and live the perfect heterosexual dream of true happiness. It is the  image that is idealized by the media and the North American culture. Spitzer’s demise shatters the myth of compulsory heterosexuality.

I am not blaming Spitzer’s wife for his actions but he didn’t resign just due to politics he resigned due to the issue of morality. Although Spitzer was a very powerful man at the end of the day he is just a man. Spitzer is married and a marriage is a contract. Marriage is about loving and respecting your partner but it is also an antiquated institution. Does monogamy even exist anymore? How are you going to know your partner isn’t cheating on you? You can’t be around your partner 24/7? You are never ever going to really know?

However, lets say if Spitzer was single would the public outcry still be so loud for his resignation? Let’s play devil’s advocate here for a bit. Let’s say if Spitzer and his wife were swingers and the public found out? Would the public still want Spitzer to resign? The anger the public has at Spitzer of course is due to the fact he betrayed the public’s trust, he used taxpayers money to fund his horny desires with a twenty two year old prostitute.

The other reason Spitzer resigned as the governor of New York state is because he broke the social code on adultery in a heterosexual marriage. Adultery is considered a moral sin even though most marriages break down due to adultery. Marriage is still placed on a pedestal in society as the ultimate expression of heterosexual love. The divorce rate for heterosexual marriage is at 50% for a reason people still have a problem discussing our sexual desires and sexual fantasies. Critics of Spitzer say he had to resign because he is a hypocrite. A third reason Spitzer resigned is due to the schizophrenic attitude North Americans still have about prostitution. Prostitution should be legalized if the sex occurs between consenting adults.

People view prostitution as an issue of morality and not as just a sexual transaction. The john wants to have no strings attached sex and the prostitute wants the money. Women in particular have a problem with prostitution they don’t understand or want to understand male sexuality. I think in this regard gay male sexuality is a bit more egalitarian. People wonder why gay male bathhouses exist? The reason gay male bathhouses exist is in the past gay male sexuality was considered a criminal act and a social taboo. There is still discrimination against gay men in relation to us expressing our homosexuality. The battle for equal rights isn’t over. The gay male bathhouse is also a social place, a safe place, an environment where gay men and bisexual men are able to be free with our sexuality without judgment from the heterosexist matrix.

I must admit there are also some puritanical hypocritical gay men out there that look down on bathhouses as an example of hedonism. Gay male bathhouses are also male only spaces because of a variety of factors and issues. Although there are female bathhouse theme nights for lesbians or for women that want to engage in sexual activity with other women. Female bathhouse nights are actually growing in popularity in North America. I remember one year before gay pride I was walking by a popular bathhouse and there were hundreds of women outside trying to get into the female bathhouse. Women also want to have freedom to express their sexuality. Lesbians, bisexual women and even heterosexual women should be able to engage in sex without the judgment of the Mythical Norm. Gay men, closeted men, bisexual men, and yes even sometimes married men visit the gay bathhouse for casual sexual encounters.

The attitudes towards male homosexuality have relaxed over the years but the gay bathhouses still exist since the nineteenth century for a reason. The reason gay bathhouses exist is because the business owners know men will pay to enter the bathhouse . In order for patrons to enter a gay bathhouse men have to pay a fee for either a locker or a room. It may not sound politically correct but sometimes men just want to have no strings attached sex. Sometimes men we are just horny and want to get our rocks off on a Friday or Saturday night.

Gay men know the hunger, the desire, the need, for physical sex. The quandary for heterosexual men such as Governor Spitzer is straight men in North America don’t have the same access to sexual freedom that gay men have. North American heterosexual society places impossible standards on straight men. Heterosexual men are supposed to be virtuous and pristine.

In North America there are swinger clubs that exist for heterosexual couples that want to break the chains of compulsory heterosexuality and engage in anonymous sexual activity. But let’s say the straight man suggests to his female partner that he wants to join a swinger club but his wife or girlfriend refuses? I am certain there are heterosexual men that attempt to talk about their sexual desires with their wives and girlfriends. The straight men feel rejected by their female partners and looks at other options to explore their sexuality. What are men supposed to do?

Next, some men feel that since their girlfriends or wives are against them having sex outside the relationship pornography is a better alternative. The pornography business is more profitable then mainstream Hollywood for a reason. So why is there this reticence about pornography? Pornography is simply consenting adults engaging in sexual acts on video. Pornography is a manifestation of our sexual desires it is outlet that exists for people to explore human sexuality.

Some women are also against pornography for religious, political, and moral reasons. Some women feel ashamed or upset if their boyfriends or husbands watch pornography . For some illogical reason some women actually compare themselves to the women in the porn movies. I wonder why? Don’t women get it? Men love sex! Although a man may love his wife or girlfriend he’s always going to be glancing or looking at other women. It doesn’t mean the man will cheat but it does mean the man has a pulse.

Some women forbid their male partners from even watching porn on DVD in their own homes. What are heterosexual men supposed to do? Let’s say the heterosexual man doesn’t want his wife around when he’s having sex with the woman he secretly desires? Maybe the heterosexual man wants to have sex with a group of women? Maybe the straight man’s fantasy is to have an orgy or have a different woman perform a different sexual act on him? Perhaps this is the fear the silent barrier that men are conditioned by society to not discuss or talk about male sexuality?

The issue the North American media consistently ignores is heterosexual men have two fantasy women in their lives. The wife is the woman in the public sphere she is supposed to be respectable, loving, she is the woman that the man shows off at workplace events, weddings, funerals, conventions. The wife is the woman the man also talks about at work with his co workers.

The second woman the heterosexual man desires is the whore. Some men wish their wives were whores in the bedroom. The whore is the woman that is the man’s carnal fantasy. However, since heterosexuality is still so repressed in North America some straight men obtain the services of prostitutes to have their fantasies fulfilled. Maybe another reason heterosexual men like female prostitutes is the female prostitute is willing and able and knows no limits our boundaries to please the man.

The female prostitute is an outlet due for heterosexual men’s sexual desires. The prostitute is the woman men secretly want but there is a moral code against the female hooker too. The female hooker is scorned by other women as the culprit for destroying marriages. Is this really true? I don’t think its the female prostitute’s fault that a marriage falls apart. I think it is so unfair that people unload their own guilt about sex on the female prostitute. The female prostitute is simply doing her job she is fulfilling a service for the straight man that wants to get his rocks off.

Heterosexual swinger clubs are exploding across North America the popularity continues to grow. The catch is single heterosexual men are not permitted to attend swinger conventions alone. The man has to have a female partner in order to enter the Swinger clubs. It is clear that straight people too don’t just want to have sex with the same person all the time. Could the swinger club have been an option for a high profile person such as Eliot Spitzer? I doubt it. People hold high profile politicians to a higher standard then the rest of society. Since Spitzer is a public figure perhaps he couldn’t take his wife to swinger club? I wonder this is a hypothetical question would the public be more mad at Spitzer if he was a swinger and not a john?

Some straight men just want an orgasm they just want a woman to perform oral sex or just have vaginal sex without interaction without judgment. Spitzer could of went on the internet and found a woman to have a sexual encounter with? Maybe Spitzer could of asked his wife to join in? Some heterosexual men just want to screw an attractive woman they don’t want to get to know the woman or love her. One option of course is the heterosexual men can visit singles bars or clubs. The next issue relates to ageism. It is well known most bars kind of have an age limit in the sense if a man is perhaps close to age 50 at a straight bar he might be looked down upon.

However, according to the information straight men have told me this can be complicated. The straight man has to buy the woman a drink, he has to talk to the woman convince her to have sex with him. Sometimes straight men visit straight bars and they don’t get any action after the bar or club closes. So what is the option for heterosexual men that are sexually frustrated? The straight man turns to prostitution because although he may pay a fee he still is able to express his sexuality without judgment with a woman he finds sexually attractive.

Gay men are different we know if we visit a gay bar or club and we don’t connect with another guy the night isn’t over for us. The funny thing about gay bars and clubs is so many guys have so much attitude. Yet at two in the morning the same guy with attitude at the club is a different person at the bathhouse. I wonder why this occurs?

Another point to consider is gay and heterosexual men can make a distinction between love and sex. For some reason some women cannot. Sex and love are two completely different things. Some women view sex and love simultaneously and there is a connection. For some men engaging in sex with a woman outside of a relationship is simply about about fulfilling a personal physical carnal need. Love is something different it is about devotion, respect, intimacy, an emotional connection to another human being. Maybe some men are bored with their partners? Maybe the partner isn’t engaging in sexual acts that turns the man on? Maybe the man just wants to have sex with someone else try something new?

A quandary in North America is male sexuality is still demonized. Men are made to feel as though tapping into our sexual thoughts, our sexual desires is filthy, wrong, and disgusting. Instead of attempting to understand male sexuality the negative stereotypes are reinforced. For example, a man may love his wife or girlfriend. The man still has issues of temptation if men had the opportunity to get away with it men would easily cheat on their partners. If a man sees a chocolate cake on the table and he’s told not to eat it. Guess what? The man may not be able to resist temptation and eat the chocolate cake anyway.

So why is there this resistance to legalizing prostitution? Why does the invisible code still exist? Prostitution is basically legal anyway. Pick up the newspaper flip to the classified section. A lot of alternative newspapers make their bread and butter through the prostitution ads for services such as massages.

The bottom line is married men pay for sex. In fact, even single men pay for sex. People don’t want to think about prostitution they imagine the client of the prostitute must be some loser, some unattractive or elderly man. Spitzer is only 48 years old he easily could of found an intern to screw or join a swinger club with his wife but he chose to express his sexuality with a hooker due to lust. The lust of the flesh did Spitzer in. Spitzer was client number nine and some stories suggest he paid in cash up to almost $80,000 for the services of a hooker.

People don’t want to believe their father, brother, uncle, husband, best friend, cousin, grandpa, next door neighbor, the teacher, the crossing guard, the star athlete, police man, judge, fire fighter, or a top politician uses escort services? Who do people think are paying for these services? Women think it has to be somebody else, some other stranger’s man that’s paying for sex. It couldn’t possibly be their lover their man. It is very easy for men to hire a prostitute during their lunch break for a quickie and then return home to their wives or girlfriends at the end of the day.

Why is everyone trying to deny prostitution exists?In the Netherlands, Germany, New South Wales in Australia and other Western nations prostitution is legalized. It is clear there are men out there that are always going to pay for sex. So why isn’t prostitution legalized? In Western Europe and New South Wales in Australia, there aren’t social problems due to the legalization of prostitution. So why is North America so behind the curve? Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession so why don’t people just get their heads out of the sand and legalize it? It seems to me this relates to the issue of morality. North America is too puritanical in relation to sex people still buy into the belief that people must conform to monogamy even though everyone knows people that don’t. But the fact remains millions of North American men are paying for sex so why ignore the fact prostitution exists?Maybe if prostitution was legalized the social barriers around human sexuality would break down in North America?

The TTC Is Not The Better Way

Any man that uses the public washrooms at Kipling, Finch, and Bloor subway stations will agree the repugnant smell is so strong you feel like you are suffocating. Taxpayers money is funding the TTC and for years so many men’s washrooms stinks and are dirty! The horrible smell in the men’s washrooms at TTC stations are so disgusting and gross. I feel like I need to vomit whenever I enter the men’s washrooms. When is the TTC going to clean up the lavatories? The TTC takes the public for granted. The TTC knows it is basically an essential service and the union exerts their power every couple of years when the TTC wants more money. This is just a broken record that needs to be stopped. The province of Ontario and the city of Toronto need to take action now. Why is the public being held hostage by a hostile TTC union?

The subway cars are littered with junk food, old crinkled newspapers, plastic bags, and are getting dirtier every single day. Also, it seems every single week the TTC subways always has a breakdown and passengers have to take shuttle buses. The buses and street cars are never on time they are always overcrowded. The lovely Toronto Transit Commission charges $2.75 cents for a single fare . You don’t need to be psychic to know the TTC fares are going to increase to $3.00 dollars one way fare very shortly. The monthly passes have sky rocketed in the last few years. The public is paying more and more for a precarious and inefficient service.

The TTC is not just transportation for the city the service is the heart of the Greater Toronto area’s transit services. An unanimous 99.2% of the Toronto Transit Commission employees have rejected a deal with the city of Toronto of a 2% annual pay increase for four years. What are the TTC employees complaining about now they make $55,000 a year? The latest controversy is the employees of the Toronto Transit Commission want more money again.

I must point out the TTC workers salary is $55,000 a year. When is Premier Dalton McGunity going to make the TTC an essential service? The TTC is very important in terms of business and also making the city of Toronto run smoothly. In May 2006 the one day wildcat strike by the TTC was total chaos. The TTC has too much power and the government needs to reclaim this power it is obvious . The TTC needs some competition ASAP. I doubt this will happen but why doesn’t the city of Toronto allow other companies to offer transit service to the public? Why should we be dependent on the TTC? Why should the public be subjected to rude and obnoxious drivers, a dirty subway, slow buses that are never on time? What is the public really paying for? I think the only solution is competition if the TTC actually had some effective competition perhaps the service would be up the standard of other world class cities?