Documentary: What Does It Mean To Be A Real Man?

In this clip from Jackson Katz’s documentary he explores the issue of masculinity and why it is considered palatable for men to be “violent”. Katz film investigates many issues about “why” men think we have to present this macho image. Its clear to me that society accepts male violence and tells men that in order to be real men the only acceptable emotion is anger. I don’t agree with everything in this clip of the documentary  but Katz does make some valid points.

I see it all the time on the bus, walking through the mall, on the subway, I see young men posturing trying to act hard. I’ve always wondered why do they do this? The documentary also explores the role that women have in this. Some women admire and want men that appear “macho” they consider this to be attractive. Also some females look down on men that are not “tough” or “aggressive.” I think that’s part of the appeal rapper such as 50 CENT has with young males. I love Kanye West because he illustrates that a man can be just be himself, show his emotions, and be real. I wish there were more positive images of black manhood out there.

Why are John Wayne and Steve McQueen so revered and popular? One can argue that Wayne and McQueen were just actors in films but they were also very masculine and dominant in their movies. I think a lot of men don’t want to admit it but there is so much pressure to be strong all the time. I find this emotionally and psychologically draining and I am glad I never tried to be that way. However, I have been criticized throughout my life for not being “macho” and “aggressive”. Men place a lot of pressure on other men to conform to gender roles.

Pop culture such as music videos and movies have a role. However, I think socialization is a big part of it. Its obvious society believes that men must be “dominant” or “in control” at all times to be real men. My perspective is that the education system has a serious role in shaping the minds of young males. I think this film is very interesting because I have fought with my emotions about what it means to be a real man my whole life. I remember when I was a kid I got called sissy, fag, wimp. I cry when I am depressed and sad I don’t hide my emotions although society says to be a real man we are supposed to.I was a very shy boy I didn’t really stand up for myself. I also recall my older brother verbally abusing me and I didn’t really feel that my parents stood up for me either.

Instead of turning my anger on to “others” I internalized my anger and hurt myself by not speaking out. People wonder why so many young men are dying? Its because in society some young men don’t know that it should be okay to “talk” about our feelings. You turn on the news and you watch and listen about more young men dying on the streets due to male violence. Men are killing and hurting other men and we just sit and watch. I think a real man is a man that can admit he has feelings and emotions that can feel hurt, feel pain, he can also cry.