I am Applying To University Again For 2008 May Give Up Writing

I finally decided that I’m going to apply to university and work towards a second degree. One thing is for sure I’m definitely not making the same mistake twice. Why did I get a B.A. degree in history? I am so stupid!!! What was I thinking at the time? I think the first time around I just wanted to graduate and get the hell out of York University LOL!

I just wanted a B.A. degree and that’s definitely not the right way to think but that’s the truth. I don’t want to be a teacher. I can’t tolerate dealing with thirty brats screaming and yelling while I was trying to conduct a lesson. A B.A. in history is basically useless. I’m definitely going to apply to a journalism program but I’m also interested in screenwriting, theatre, and film. Maybe I can also take a creative writing course too? I think I’m going to make at least four choices this time around instead of the standard three. Maybe I will make five choices.

The competition I am sure will be fierce but I’ve got to try. I wonder if I can apply as a mature student even though I already have a B.A.? I am doing something wrong my life is not perfect?  All I know is I will not make the same mistake I made the first time around. Time is running out. I’m not getting any younger. I need an edge. Its obvious I am lacking something but what? What am I doing wrong? Why haven’t I gotten a second book published by now? I must be doing something incorrectly? But what? I’ve got to think about this a bit more. I have tried, and tried, and I am tired of trying!!!!

How do I make myself stand out? And writing maybe I should just give it up? Its so frustrating right now rejection after rejection. I think I am going to scream!!! I know I’m not supposed to bitch and complain but I’m going to anyway right now. I really wanted to do that reading at the University of Toronto yesterday. I was so excited about it. I was going to read some selections from “You Don’t Know Me” and also some new poetry. Maybe I should give up writing poetry? It is so frustrating to get poetry published and all these literary journals seem to think poets and writers have deep pockets? It costs a lot of money to send S.A.S.E. and pay for all that damn postage! Nobody seems to accept e-mail submissions anymore either!