Is Canada The Most Boring Place on Earth? Are there Any opportunities here?

  

I’m undecided if I’m going to end this blog  right now? There is just a lot going on in my life right now I feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment. During my life on this planet I can honestly say I’ve had about two or three real friends I could confide in or talk to.  I wonder do real friends even exist? And if friendship is real does it really matter? After all  we only  have is ourselves right?  I have one “friend” right now but I realize that I should not tell him my problems or make him worry about me. He has his own life to live and he also has his own quandaries as well.

Let’s face it everyone has problems in life and I am not different then anyone else. If you’re read my book “You Don’t Know Me” or various articles I’ve written you will know the kinds of problems I’ve had. My life is far from glamorous that’s for sure.

       Right now I think I am suffering from depression? Yes, I went to the doctor and yes I’ve been on anti depressants in the past but I didn’t find it very helpful. I understand in life people “change” and you either need new experiences or they do? I can say that I’ve had plenty of “acquaintances”. Sometimes I think I “expect” too much from people or people expect “too” much from me? I’m not the kind of person that gets “emotionally” involved with “a lot of people”. Sure, I can talk to people but I definitely don’t trust people that’s sure. I don’t even trust immediate family members that’s a fact. 

Also, right now I’m questioning a lot of things in my life right now.  I have a BA degree yet I feel worthless? I don’t know what to do right now? I’ve been to career counselling, workshops, and I feel the people in these workshops or career counselling centers only care about getting paid. I find there attitudes extremely insincere but that’s just my personal opinion.

 It seems in society now one university degree isn’t enough? Should I return to school? I so don’t want to go back to school? I’m upset about a lot of things. For instance, I thought I would be more successful in life right now and I’m definitely not where I want to be. I can’t seem to find a writing job? I’ve tried everything.

 Its the dilemma of being a Canadian. Although Canada is a prosperous country Canada is in some ways  like a prison. Has anyone  ever  watched Canadian television lately? If you’ve ever watched Canadian television or paid attention to the Canadian arts you will notice how unimportant the “arts” are in this country. 

Another thing I find so “irritating” is the pretentious “snobbish” attitude of the Canadian publishing and writing industry. I cannot stress how “pretentious” it is. Also, its very small. Canada only has about thirty literary agents. Yes, I’ve bought the American Writer’s Market book and it seems that’s the way I’m going to have to go. I don’t know why some Americans think Canada is like mars or something? The thing about Canada is everything is “imported” here. The entertainment, arts sector of Canada is in dire straits and I’m serious. In Canada, all the TV shows, all the movies, are all American. Even most of the theatre plays here are “American”.

 The arts are at the bottom of the ladder in Canada. Canada is all about the status quo.  The only people that get their work published, produced, or whatever are the same people its a constant vicious cycle. I cannot remember how horrible the Toronto theatre scene is right now. My goodness, every single black theatre play is about slavery, or about some black person from the nineteenth century? Its like what about the present? As I have told you I’ve written a play and I want to get it produced. Anybody that reads my blog and knows anything about the theatre business if you have any tips let me know? Am I wasting my time entering my play into theatre competitions?

What about now? I’m tired of wasting my time here. There is nothing going on in Canada right now.  Canada is so dry I’m serious.I’m not suggesting Americans don’t have thoughts about their arts scene not being as good as it could be. My perspective is though there are so much more arts opportunities down there then here. One of the things I admire about America despite its serious social problems is the abundance of opportunities for artists. Arts is viewed as important in America there are so many arts organizations yet here in Canada there is hardly anything at all.

 The Canadian writing industry is pathetic its so small. Basically, all there is Toronto and that’s it. I feel like I was born in the wrong country. I should of left Canada years ago. Now I feel like I am trapped here as though I am suffocating. 

 I looked at the Media Bistro  website and there are numerous writing jobs but its pretty difficult for an American company to hire a Canadian given the fact America is paranoid about immigration right now. I’ve been having feelings of despair. I’m not going to harm myself or anything like that but I’ve been in a rotten mood the last couple of days.  I haven’t gone on a date in how long? I don’t even remember anymore its been a few years. I’m focusing on “helping” and “improving” myself right now. I think maybe I should end this blog? I mean does anyone really read what I have to say anyway? And do my thoughts and ideas really make a difference?